Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional

Cutting Edge!

2012-01-27T10:02:00.010-05:00

It's peanut butter fragment time, peanut butter fragment time! Peanut butter fragment - peanut butter fragment - peanut butter fragment with a baseball bat!

Apparently, I'm on the cutting edge of a new trend - divorcing bloggers! It seems that both Dooce and Bossy are also in the process of separation /divorce. Who knew I'd be one of the 'in' bloggers?
I shouldn't be so facetious about it; divorce sucks and it seems that Dooce is really struggling right now. But you know what? She'll be okay. She'll emerge stronger than ever.

It's moving weekend! And I am already exhausted. I also have to work this weekend. How am I going to pull this off? I am not quite sure. Wish me luck!

My son and his friend are getting their own place. It's just a little ways down the road from our new home. But it will be his first time living on his own. And I'm going to miss him! (sniff, sniff) He has been a huge help to me these past few months and I don't know what I'd have done without him.

My main client had a bad fall last week (thankfully, not on my watch). She has a huge goose-egg and two enormous black eyes. I told her she looks like the poster child for elder abuse prevention. She cracked up!

Watch what you say on Facebook....people will take what you say completely out of context and tell your mother all about it. People like...your mother's hair stylist. She told my mom that I posted something on FB that I absolutely did NOT post! I don't know if she got confused or took something the wrong way, but I don't need that kind of drama in my life. So I deleted her! Haha.

Love this song. Enjoy your weekend!

Did You Know?

2012-01-25T00:28:00.005-05:00

Did you know that I love Holly so much, I let her name my vagina?
Did you know that she named it Vivian?
Did you know that now she wants to Va-jazzle my VaJayJay?

Did you know that I'm still trying to find a way to work into a conversation that my vagina's name is Vivian, courtesy of Holly?

Did you know that I have never ridden a jet-ski?
Did you know that last night I dreamed I was riding a jet-ski?
Did you know that it was a magical jet-ski that could also ride on land?
Did you know that while I was riding my magical land-jet-ski, panthers were trying to eat me?
Did you know that I dream up some weird shit?

Did you know that I wrong number texted my mother today?
Did you know that it could have been DISASTROUS but thank GOD it was just confusing?

Did you know that my niece once damn you auto corrected my mother?

Did you know that she typed U-Haul and it auto corrected to ubersexual?
Did you know that my 68 year old mother was MORTIFIED and TRAUMATIZED?!?!

Did you know that I promised myself I'd go to bed at 10:00 pm tonight?
Did you know that it is now 12:44 am?
Did you know that I have to work in the morning?
Did you know that I am tired and I get goofy when I'm tired?
Did you know that's why I'm posting this craziness???

Did you know that I'm seriously going to bed now? Right after I read one more blog post.........

Whole Lotta Happy Going On...

2012-01-24T08:52:00.004-05:00

I'm joining in with the beloved Mamarazzi

and composing a Happy List today!

~*Happy*~

~ Elayna had a great birthday yesterday! My baby is 11. Bittersweet!

~ I believe I have found the perfect little place for me & the girls, and we should be moving soon!

~ My niece Heather's baby is due in less than a month. We are super excited!

~ I have less stress now than I have had in many, many years. Although I deal with my own anxiety with learned techniques & medication, I still struggle with being a 'sponge' for others' anxiety. When they refuse to deal with their anxiety, it makes it difficult. Now that I no longer am dealing with that issue, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. It feels great.

~ Soon, the past 8 years will be a closed chapter of my life. Lessons learned! And my maiden name will be restored. And yes - that makes me very HAPPY!

~ I have wonderful, supportive friends - both "IRL" and online - and they all make me feel loved & cared about & so happy.

This is my song for Elayna. Enjoy!

FragmenTatered

2012-01-20T00:01:00.002-05:00

OK, I know I keep saying things are crazy around here, but this week tops them all.

I must admit I'm VERY glad it's drawing to an end!

FRAGGIN TIME!

**I'm sharing pics from my niece's baby shower within this post. Because I can.**

*Elayna with one of the Owl decorations from the shower*

I'm on Pinterest now. Lord help us all. Another online time-suck is JUST what I needed, and I was hooked immediately.

I think this is how I link to my Pinterest....if not, let me know.

*Heather with the tie blanket the girls & I made for her*

My baby girl, Elayna, will be eleven years old on Monday. *sigh* We're doing some birthday celebrating this weekend.

--Speaking of Elayna, THANK YOU for the tips on getting her up & out in the mornings. They are helping already. I may just survive mornings after all!--

*Shelbie, Heather, Elayna*

Shelbie is looking for a job. A part-time, after school job of course. Girlfriend wants some shopping money!

*My mama & me*

Elayna got a spot in her school's after-school care program this week. HUGE blessing for me and it came at the perfect time. Between me and my son Tim, we had juggled schedules and always managed to be there for her after-school, but it was tough. I couldn't have done it without him. The opening in the after-school program was SUCH a relief!

*Me & my niece, Heather*

I LOVE Miranda Lambert, and Oh.Mah.GAWD. I love this song. Enjoy!

Things I Have Learned 2012

2012-01-19T11:53:00.004-05:00

We're 19 days into this year but I have already learned a WHOLE lot of lessons. This year literally started with a bang and the insanity has not stopped yet. Fortunately there is SO much good mixed in with the crazy that I am not letting anything get me down!

Here's what I've learned so far.....

I've learned that you can miss someone without actually wanting them back in your life. You miss the things they do or say, at the same time knowing you could never be with that person again, whether it's as a friend or something else.

I've learned that you can "know" someone for nearly 8 years but never truly KNOW them.

I've learned that you can be the best friend that you know how to be to someone, and sometimes it's still not enough. And it's time to walk away.

I've learned that there are people out there who really will do what they say they will do. And they are the people I want in my life.

I've learned that there are other people who will do truly malicious things out of pain or anger. And to watch my back.

I've learned that leaving doesn't always mean giving up. It means having the strength to move on, and search for happiness on your own.

heellppp.

2012-01-17T15:52:00.002-05:00

alright girlfriends (and boyfriends).

Help.

for the past 5ish years, john took the little kids to school every day. now of course I am taking Elayna to school myself. I would pretty much rather stick my hand in a meat grinder than get this child up and ready every morning. it inevitably leads to cursing and tears; I'll let you guess who's doing what.

So I'm going to force her to get as much done as possible the night before, but I'm looking for your advice on ways to make this easier and more pleasant for all involved. But mostly ME!!! Also some sort of reward/incentive type thing.

So, mamas, daddies, whoever, help a mama out!

(please excuse the wonky punctuation & capitalization, this is my 1st time blogging from my phone.)

Incomprehensible.

2012-01-15T08:52:00.003-05:00

This weekend I've had some time to catch up on my blog reading.

Which for the most part has been wonderful...but I have found a few things that REALLY upset me, and I want to share them with you.

This seems to be making its rounds so maybe you've already heard that a major hospital is denying a child a kidney transplant because she is "mentally retarded". This is heartbreaking and infuriating to me! Please take your time to read about it and share it.

My sweet friend C is being separated from the love of her life because in this country, people think they have the right to decide who we should love. And people can marry and divorce as many times as they want, as quickly as they want, for whatever stupid reason that they want - as long as they're heterosexual. I am heartbroken for C and D.

And this blogger's family's life has been turned upside down by a diagnosis of leukemia for their 16 year old son. They are asking for nothing but prayers.

I get so frustrated hearing about things like this, wishing there were something I could do to help. Wondering why things have to be this way.

It also reminds me to count my blessings.

I Remember

2012-01-13T16:03:00.004-05:00

I remember when I fell in love with you.

I don't remember when I fell out of love with you.

Falling in love happened quickly.

Falling out of love was much more gradual.

It snuck up on me. It was a slow process. Respect slipped away. Disillusionment crept in. My eyes were opened. And you changed.

Instead of being the source of so much happiness, when you walked into the room, the laughter stopped. The joy was sucked out of the room. And out of our lives.

I realized that almost every area of my life was bringing me so much pleasure; my children, my friends, my career, my family.

All except for you.

I tried to change things. I tried to deal with it. I tried to focus on the positive.

It didn't work.

You were no longer what I needed in my life. Once upon a time, you were. There were good times, good years. But you changed, I changed, things changed. We changed.

And I realized that I deserve more. I deserve happiness. "Tomorrow isn't promised." That phrase runs through my mind so often lately. Right or wrong, I want to be happy, and I want my kids to be happy. For as many tomorrows as we have.

Dont you worry your pretty little mind

2012-01-06T08:30:00.005-05:00

Oh, Friday, I've been waiting for you for so long!

Well, at least a couple of days.

Anyway! Let's get this fragging started right now!

Karaoke tonight? Yes, please! I have become good friends with the secretary at the kids' high school. She is awesome and she has been coming out to karaoke with me! And we're going again tonight, hopefully with some other friends as well. Can't wait to get my karaoke on!

But tomorrow is what I'm REALLY looking forward to - my niece's baby shower! She had a joint shower in November with her sister-in-law, but this one is all for Heather. The girls and I are super-excited!

I have admitted before that I watch Jersey Shore. Yeah, yeah, it's trash tv, it's what's wrong with America, blah blah. I'm hooked, don't judge me. Now let's discuss last night's season premier.

So, did you totally cry at the surprise party too? And what about at the end when Vinnie was all sad and homesick? I just wanted to give him a big hug. I probably would have caught an STD, granted, but still. Poor Vinnie.

Mike = biggest douche bag EVER.

Do you think Ronnie & Sammie will still be together at the end of this season? I'm thinking no.

Deena is kind of pathetic. JWoww's body amazes me but her face is looking to thin.

And Snooki, well she's just Snooki, what can you say?
I love me some Pauly D. What a lovable goofball.

We've had lows in the low 20's this past week. Here in FLORIDA. I've been trying not to complain about the weather but hellllloooo??? This ain't Alaska, people. Give me SUNSHINE!!!

I am LOVING this song right now. Love love LOVE.

That's all folks! Check out Mrs 4444 for more Fragments.

Looking Good - AND Winning Money!!

2012-01-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

Now that I am back to working full-time, and living the semi-single mom life, things can be a little crazy here. OK, a whole lot of crazy! So time for taking care of me is a rare commodity.

At the same time, I really need to take care of myself and feel good about myself. As I get older, I am becoming more aware of the importance in taking care of my skin, and I've always admitted to being a little vain about looking younger. So, I'll take all the help I can get in that department!

I am always interested in products that can help me accomplish that quickly and easily.

I was happy to recently find that in New Olay Smooth Finish Facial Hair Removal Duo.

New Olay Smooth Finish Facial Hair Removal Duo is a uniquely formulated two-step system designed to gently, yet effectively remove unwanted facial hair, leaving skin smooth, conditioned, and visibly hair free.

This gentle hair removal system contains a Skin Guarding Balm, applied before the Hair Removal Cream, that hydrates the skin to minimize irritation, redness, and other tell-tale signs associated with hair removal creams.

I have sensitive skin, and I have never been able to use hair removal creams on my face. They burned and caused irritation in the past. But the New Olay Smooth Finish Facial Hair Removal Duo is different. The Skin Guarding Balm coats your skin and prevents the Hair Removal Cream from having a harmful effect on that delicate skin.

It's extremely quick and easy; you simply smooth on the Skin Guarding Balm, then the Hair Removal Cream. In a few minutes, you remove the cream, and the hair comes along with it.

It's great to find a product that helps me look and feel good about myself and makes it so easy.

Now, here's the fun part for YOU-there's a sweepstakes!!

You can win a $50 Gift Card, courtesy of BlogHer and Olay!

To be entered for a chance to win, leave a comment telling me how your beauty routine helps you express your inner beauty.

Here are the Rules:

This sweepstakes runs from 1/3/2012 - 2/3/2012.

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older.

Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail.

You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

Be sure to visit the Promotions & Prizes page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!

While we’re on the subject of looking good, you might want to check out the “Looking Your Best” posts in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com. There are some great tips and expert posts!

-2011-

2011-12-30T08:27:00.006-05:00

When 2011 began, I definitely had no idea it would end this way. Had you told me last New Year's Day how the year would end, I would not have believed it.

But here I am. Here we are. Feeling strong, confident, and most of all, happy. My kids are happy and that makes me happy.

My in-laws are happy, they got exactly what they've been wanting. And that makes me want to egg their house.

Just kidding.

(Sort of.)

It was a big year in many ways. My baby girl turned 10. My son graduated from high school. And my middle daughter turned 16. I am so proud of my kids.

I got my job which I love and plan to do forever.

My parents celebrated their 50th Anniversary. My niece got married and pregnant.

I'm excited about 2012. I'm finding my happiness and taking care of ME. There are some things I know 2012 will bring; my divorce, my niece's baby girl, my baby girl graduating 5th Grade.....and of course, the year will be full of surprises.

I'll be celebrating the New Year with old friends and new friends. It's going to be interesting, just like the new year. I can't wait to see what both of them bring!

I hope your New Year is full of wonderful things.

Ramblings

2011-12-27T15:37:00.003-05:00

I really am sorry for my lack of blogging lately. I know that there are some of you who truly care and don't just visit for the return comments! ;-)

I am fine, I promise. Just so busy! My friend recently moved to an apartment just down the road from me, so I spend a lot of time at her house. Between that and work, and then Christmas and birthdays....it's madness! I feel like I'm never home.

Our Christmas was very nice. It was just me and the kids for Christmas Eve, and we drove around looking at Christmas lights. On Sunday, we went to my parents' house for Christmas Dinner. We all had a good time. Then the kids all went to their dad's on Sunday evening to spend time with that side of the family. The girls will be gone all week; Tim may be home some due to his work schedule but so far he's still at his dad's.

My life is full. I'm very content with the way things are right now. I'm at peace, and I'm excited about the future. I never imagined my late 30's being this awesome!

And that's the news from here. I'm probably going to be working on New Year's weekend, so now wild parties for me! I hope y'all had a great Christmas and have a wonderful New Year!

Festive Fragging

2011-12-23T08:27:00.007-05:00

Here I am again, apologizing for dropping off of the face of the blogosphere!

I'm fine, we're all fine. Just busy, busy, busy! I'm glad it's Friday and Fragging time - just what I needed.

On Monday, my Shelbie girl turned 16 years old. I am still a little bit in disbelief over that! She spent time with her dad & family on his side during the day, and with us that evening. I think she had a great birthday.

On Thursday, we had dinner with my whole family. My kids, my parents, my sister and her family, my brother and his family. This is a rare and fun thing! Afterwards we all went to my parents' house to celebrate the December birthdays and of course, Christmas. The December birthdays in my family: my sister-in-law, Shelbie, my sister, my mother, AND my nephew.

Today after work I get to finish Christmas shopping. Shelbie has agreed to wrap all gifts except for her own - I HATE wrapping! I dread it every year. So I'm happy to have that task delegated.

The weekend will be filled with more of the same stuff - time with friends & family, Christmas-light-looking, shopping, and fun.

Wishing you all a wonderful Holiday!!

Go visit Mrs 4444 for some Festive Fragments.

Santa Baby

2011-12-13T10:10:00.005-05:00

Today I'm reposting my version of Santa Baby, which I first posted in 2009. It's fun and back then, it won a prize! WOOT! Hope you enjoy!

Dear Santa,
I've been a really good girl all year. I did not kill, choke, or stab anyone, despite being seriously tried and tempted. Not even one person! Are you proud of me? Because I'm quite proud of myself.
I haven't asked for much, Santa Claus. I am really a low-maintenance girl, and quite easy to please.
So here's a song for you.
Love,
Cyndy

Santa baby, just slip a Netbook under the tree, for me
Been an awful good girl,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

Santa baby, a Mustang convertible too, or TWO,
Son's a Mustang fan too,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

Think of all the revenge I've missed,
Think of all the butts that I haven't kicked!
Next year I could be just as good
If you check off my Christmas list...

Santa baby, what good's a Netbook without Wifi? Oh my.
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

Santa honey, one little thing that I really need, some cash,
Just a nice little stash,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a nice cruise, and booze,
Sign your x on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight!

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some cute stuff that I don't even need!
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me...

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring,
And yes I do mean a phone,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

Linking up with Tuesday's Gone Blog Hop at Life. Music. Laughter.

Nobody But Me

2011-12-09T00:05:00.003-05:00

It's Friday and around here, that means it's Fragment Time!

I am off today and all weekend. Yay! Y'all know I love my job but I love my time off too. Also, I love sleeping in! Zzzzz.

I have an ENORMOUS zit smack-dab in the middle of my forehead. It's like a target. Seriously? What kind of sick joke is this? Wrinkles + Pimples = Wrong, I tell you. Wrong.

It's been another interesting, roller-coaster-ish week. But it has ended very well. Life is Good!

One of the highlights of this week: my son Tim went to his dad's house for dinner one night. This was his first time seeing his dad, step-mom, and half-sister in months. I think they're on their way to repairing their relationship, and that makes me so happy.

Today's Song Sharing is a two-fer. Just 'cause I love ya.

I can NOT stop laughing at this song!

This one is just a fun, great song.

Y'all have a good one!

Let me tell you about my kids.

2011-12-07T11:32:00.005-05:00

Let me tell you something about my kids.

When I say my kids are awesome....

it does not mean I think they're perfect. It does not mean I turn a blind eye to their mistakes & shortcomings. It simply means I love them anyway. And I focus on the positive.

When I say I am proud of my kids...

it does not mean they never do anything wrong. It means they screw up, but they handle the situation well. They take responsibility and face the consequences.

Life is not about NOT making mistakes - it's how you handle those mistakes. Owning up, and learning from it.

When I say that my kids and I are very close...

it does not mean that I am their friend or that I try to get on their level. It just means that I have worked very hard to keep the lines of communication wide open between myself and my kids. And for the most part, I've done a damned good job of that.

When I say that I have been a good Mom...

it does not mean that I think I have been a perfect mom, that I have not made mistakes. It means that I have done my best, with the best of intentions and a heart full of love.

When I say that I love my kids unconditionally...

that is EXACTLY what I mean. No matter what my kids do, I will always love them with all my heart. I may be hurt, disappointed, or sad, but I'll always love them. I'll always have their backs. I will never turn my back on them.

Visit Things I Can't Say for more Pour Your Heart Out posts.

This...right here...is my....Frags.

2011-12-01T21:42:00.001-05:00

I'm in love, y'all. I know it's a little soon, but don't judge me. I just had to share with you about this new relationship in my life. After having a less than satisfactory one for quite some time, I am truly in awe of this amazing new....

....cell phone. It's a droid, and we're going to get married and have little android babies.

Every year during the holiday season, Shannon from Welcome to the Nuthouse does "Cans for Comments". What is that, you ask? For every comment she gets on this post, she donates a canned good to her local food bank. And I think that is just awesome! So get over there and comment, please!

Speaking of the holiday season: let the hate mail begin....I don't understand why so many Christians have an issue with NOT saying "Merry Christmas" to everyone. I'm a Christian, although I certainly don't present myself as a perfect one.....but seriously. Do we go around telling people "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" when it's not their birthday? Not everyone celebrates Christmas, and that's their business. If it's that damned difficult to say "Happy Holidays", then...*gasp*....just don't say anything. Doesn't Freedom of Religion ring any bells?

Speaking of the holidays AND religion: it's December now, so I guess I'll get out the Christmas decorations. It's against my religion to decorate for Christmas before December. My own personal religion that I make up in my head, that is.

Speaking of...um, a whole different topic: I have two wonderful clients that I take care of (I was recently told that when I call them clients it makes me sound like a hooker, but what am I supposed to call them? Old ladies? Anyway...). I love them both, truly. But the oldest one, 93 years old, keeps me in stitches. Just as I was about to leave her house the other day she remarked, "You sure do look good for having a grown ASS son!"And I died. She also tells me she loves me every time I take care of her and hugs me when I leave. I have the best job EVER!

I think I'm a better commenter than blogger. I'm funnier in real life than I am on the blog, and I'm funnier in comments too. Just recently two of my favorite bloggers sent me awesome comment replies....one said "Best comment ever!" and another said I made her laugh so hard she choked at work! And these are like, rock star bloggers whom I idolize! I think I'm going to quit this blogging gig and become a full-time commenter.

I have another funny country song for you! This time it's NOT Brad Paisley, it's Billy Currington. You gotta listen to this, it's great!

Alright. I'm fresh outta fragments. Have a great weekend and don't forget to visit Half Past Kissin Time for more Friday Fragments!

Quintessential Me- Wordful Wednesday

2011-11-29T21:39:00.003-05:00

I never, ever like photographs of myself.

When I'm taking them myself, I take approximately 7000 and delete all of them except for three.

When others are taking them, I make them delete them if they're hideous. And they're usually hideous. I can always find something to critique about a picture if I'm in it. And candid shots are the worst! I'm usually making a face something like this:

(that's me with my best friend's son, Cody.

He calls me Mom.

I adore him.

So I have no idea why I have a possessed-by-the-devil expression in this picture.)

Anyway. This past week, my niece's friend posted some pictures she had taken a few months ago just before my niece's wedding. We were at the nail salon getting all pretty for the wedding, and she snapped this candid shot of me, laughing at who-knows-what (probably something inappropriate).

And...I...LOVE....it. Because it is just so me. I don't even mind the laugh lines....I laugh a lot. I don't even mind the dark circles under my eyes....I was so busy getting ready for the wedding, I was hardly sleeping. I love the sunglasses on my head, because that's where they always are. I even love the freckles on my shoulders.

I love this picture because I'm laughing, I'm natural, and I'm happy.

It's quintessential Dysfunctional Mom.

Don't forget to visit Seven Clown Circus and Parenting by Dummies for more WordFUL Wednesday posts!

Who are these people and what have they done with my parents?

2011-11-28T20:08:00.006-05:00

Let me tell you a little something about my childhood.

My parents were NOT animal people. I have no idea how I became such an animal lover. My parents were the type who had to be begged and pleaded with in order to get a pet, and then it had to live outside. Now, they did take good care of any pets we did have, but they were NOT members of the family. They were animals.

Once they both retired, I tried to talk them into getting a small dog to keep them company, but they had absolutely no interest in that.

Now. When we moved into our current home, we were not able to bring all of our dogs with us, so Shelbie's chihuahua, Ace, went to live with my parents. I knew they would take good care of him, but I worried that he would not be loved the way Shelbie loved him.

Ha.ha.ha.ha. Oh, the irony.

My parents have fallen in love. Both of them. Ace runs their house. He is the center of their attention. Their entire world revolves around Ace.

My mom has bought Ace clothes, jackets, and most recently, a Snuggie. She enjoys texting me pictures of Ace in his fancy outfits.

Over Thanksgiving, I dog-sat Ace. My mother brought over a reusable shopping bag full of Ace's toys, treats, and food. She brought his bed and his blanket, as well as his food dishes, because apparently he can't go even a few days using regular bowls. Heaven Forbid!

My mom lectured me at length about how to properly care for him, and my dad informed of the times of day that Ace poops. I was told when to give him treats and when to put him to bed.

I am not freaking kidding.

But I think the best thing of all happened today. I received the following text from my mother:

REMINDER: Ace's Birthday is on Sunday!!

They are 100% wrapped around Ace's little paw.

When I Wasn't Here....

2011-11-26T14:03:00.006-05:00

*Tap, tap* Is this thing on?

It's been kind of quiet on the Blog of Dysfunction, but not at the Casa de Dysfunction.

I'll give you a brief rundown on what's been going on around here. Sort of like Shit I Did When I Wasn't Here, but nowhere near as cool. Because, hello? She's, ya know, The Bloggess. And I'm, ya know, not.

There have been Karaoke Nights, Double Baby Showers, Sixteenth Birthday Parties, Drag Shows, Epic Meltdowns, Bonfires, Concerts.

This is all in the past week.

Back in the woods where we live, there's a saying: It's not a party till the cops show up.

Last week we had a party.

There has been fighting and making up and breaking up. Strengthening relationships. Cutting ties.

My son Tim and I spent Thanksgiving at home, just the two of us. It was awesome. I cooked way too much food, and we enjoyed each others' company. It was a unique experience that will probably never happen again, and I enjoyed it.

And I am totally exhausted! I am on day 3 of 4 days off work, after working 9 days in a row. Getting a paycheck for a job that I LOVE is one of the best feelings EVER.

And I'm off to try to catch up with you.....and then I think it's time for a NAP!!

*Me & My BFF*

The Wisdom of a Child

2011-11-15T09:23:00.005-05:00

I pull up in the driveway, and she comes running out. "CYNNNY!"

She is a short, miniature version of my oldest daughter, Shelbie.

"What you doing, Cynny? You picking up Shelbie and Layna?"

"Cynny, you stay here with us?"
"No, baby, that would be awkward."

She reaches her arms up to give me a hug & kisses my cheek.

She is my children's half-sister, their father's youngest child. She looks so much like my daughter Shelbie at that age, sometimes it's scary.

The ex-spouse/half-sibling/step-sibling relationships are confusing to anyone, but a three year old has no understanding of it all. She just knows that I'm Timmy and Shelbie and Layna's mommy. She has no reason not to like me, so she likes me. Simple as that. And to her parents' credit, they haven't done anything to discourage that.

My children's father, his wife, and I can not get along. The reasons for that are many and complicated and not the point of this post.

But the innocence of a child sees none of that. It's so simple and refreshing, and you can't help but wonder...who is the wisest one of us all?

{all photos are of Shelbie at about 3 years old.}

Pouring My Heart Out with Shell

Aging Pisses Me Off.

2011-11-13T15:03:00.003-05:00

I work with the elderly. And the more I see, the more aging pisses me off.

It's understandable for our bodies to start to wear out over time.

Our joints stop working properly. Our skin begins to wrinkle. Our hair begins to gray.

I understand that our organs gradually cease to function properly. It's a natural part of the process of life. It has a beginning, and an end.

And intellectually, I understand that the brain is just another body part. And in time, it will fail too.

But it just seems so cruel, the way it sometimes happens.

Because it robs us. Aging robs us of our independence. It robs us of our privacy. It robs us of our pride, and sometimes our dignity. It makes us unable to think clearly, and perform the most simple tasks without assistance.

But worst of all, it robs us of what may be the most precious human possession: our memories.

In some cases, it completely steals all of our memories. It wipes the slate clean. We are left not knowing who we are many days, and wondering who these lovely people are who come to visit.

It seems incomprehensibly cruel that, after living a long and productive life, we are reduced to just a shadow of the person we used to be. With no memory of what made our life so beautiful.

Why?

I'm Alright

2011-11-09T00:55:00.002-05:00

In case you missed it, I posted this weekend that my husband and I are separating.

What I didn't really explain is that I am alright.

I have been anxious, depressed, frustrated, and hurting for a while now.

But since I made this decision, I feel like a burden has been lifted off of me. I literally feel lighter. I am happier, and my children are happier. My husband is not, and I do feel sad about that. I also feel sad for what Andrew will lose.

Other than that...I'm good. I feel confident and strong. And that makes me certain that I'm making the right decision.

Of course, there is much more to this situation than I've posted here. Some of it I may post eventually, some I probably won't. My blog isn't the place to perform a post-mortem on my marriage. And really....there's just no point.

It's time to move forward and get on with my life. There are good things coming our way....of that I am sure!

And I greatly appreciate the support of my blog friends. You all are wonderful!

Visit Shell at Things I Can't Say for more PYHO posts!

Moving On.

2011-11-06T15:33:00.000-05:00

So, yeah. Remember this post , from back in July?

Taken in 2005.

John is on the left, I'm on the right.

My mother-in-law is in the middle.

Enough.Said.

Also, are you familiar with the literary term "foreshadowing"?

verb (used with object)

to show or indicate beforehand; prefigure.

Maybe I should have bolted way back then, in 2005, when my mother-in-law first plopped her bony ass between us.

I had no idea that it would stay there for next six years.

She has been the source of a great deal of stress and disagreements in our marriage. It got much worse after she and her ex-husband divorced; she has no social life now and decided to make our business, her business.

I don't fault her completely; her son should have put a stop to it long ago. But he didn't, and the stress built up. It ate away at our happiness. It ate away at our marriage. The stress John was under, trying to run interference between his mother and his wife....it changed him. He is no longer the funny, carefree, happy guy I married. It affected his relationship with me, and with my children.

Between that and the way both he and his mother are choosing to raise Andrew, and the way they are handling the court situation with Andrew's biological mother....I've had as much as I can take.

I'm not saying everything is all her fault. There are other problems as well. I believe that people come into our lives for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. I believe this particular season of my life is drawing to a close.

I'm not happy, and more importantly, my children are not happy.

And now, Mother In Law Dearest has won. Because I'm done. She can have all the control she wants. And everything else that comes with it.

We are not promised tomorrow. Life is too short to live this way.

I'm moving on.

T.G.I.Fragments

2011-11-04T08:07:00.008-04:00

My day started off with a phone call at 7:11 a.m. I was sleeping soundly. I should have been at work at 7:00 a.m.
Ooops. I made it to work at 7:40 a.m., which practically defies the laws of physics. I have no idea how I pulled that off. But I'm glad I did! I figure a day that starts out like this is bound to be interesting....

So many of you commented on my mention of Sonic in my Halloweekend post. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one addicted to that place. I'm pretty sure they put crack in the drinks. And I'm totally okay with that. I love to get a Diet Coke with cherry syrup AND real cherries - lots of them. Nom! My kids are just as addicted as I am; they beg to go to Sonic. I could never work there though. I can just see myself trying to roller-skate around AND carry food. I am a disaster just attempting to walk on a level surface. The thought of me roller skating with a tray full of food is hilarious!

I am currently making a lunch date for next week with two of my old friends from high school. Not the ones I hang out with all the time, different ones. This lunch date is made possible by Facebook. Have I told you lately that I love Facebook? When I stop and think of things that have happened in my life that would never have happened without Facebook, it blows my mind.

On a related note.....I have a friend who is my age, 38. She has an 18 year old son, a 3 year old son....and just found out she is pregnant again. Just thinking about that makes me exhausted!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song, and these amazing women. Enjoy!

Hope you all have a good weekend!

Don't forget to visit Mrs 4444 for more Friday Fragments.

Somebody call 911!

2011-11-03T01:27:00.003-04:00

This week, Mama Kat asked this question:

1.) Did you create a list of 22 things you’ve done in your life last week? This week, choose one item from your list and elaborate! We want the story.

Most of the things on my list, I've already blogged about, because I'm a bit of a blabbermouth I guess. But I don't think I've told this story:

17. I have traveled to the hospital via ambulance after a serious injury.

(I just love that graphic.)

Anyway. Picture it: Florida, 1980-something. Actually I guess it was 1984, because I was 11. No, don't do the math.

An older couple lived next door to my family, and they had a granddaughter who was about my age. She visited often and we were very good friends. Any time Michelle was visiting, we were together.

So on this hot summer day, we'd been together all day long, running back and forth between the houses. Michelle's grandparents had left their glass slider door open all day to let the breeze in, and we'd ran in and out of it dozens of times. That afternoon, we decided we wanted to spend the night together, and we had to ask my parents if it was okay. We got up and ran out the back slider door. Only this time, it was closed. And I smashed right into it. Through it may be a better term, actually. I smashed it open with my right leg. I didn't feel any pain (we later learned that was because I sliced a nerve). I remember first lifting up both of my arms and seeing nothing, not even a scratch. Then I lifted my right leg and saw a huge open gash. And I screamed. One of those horrific, blood-curdling screams.

My parents heard me, and came running over. Michelle was helping me to the couch in her grandparents' living room, and her Grandma was running to get towels. There was blood everywhere. It was like CSI Gainesville, Florida.

My dad grabbed the phone to call 911, but first he dialed 411. I calmly corrected him.

Then he gave them the wrong address. I calmly corrected him.

I didn't technically go into shock, but I was bizarrely calm. They wrapped my legs in the towels and I told my parents that I was sorry, since they had told me a million times not to run in the house. I also apologized to the neighbors for getting blood all over their couch and carpet. Hey, I'm a Southern Lady; I am polite in all circumstances. (bahaha, I couldn't even type that with a straight face!)

So, the ambulance came and whisked me to the hospital. I only vaguely remember the actual ride; there's not much to see when you're strapped to a stretcher. The lacerations (there were several more than the one I initially saw) were so serious that I needed surgery. They said I was very lucky, the cuts were extremely close to major arteries. The damage could have been much worse, and I could have bled to death. (I'd be happy to go into more detail here, but I'm sure some of you aren't interested in exactly what I saw when I first lifted my leg....heh heh.)

I was in the hospital for about a week. I had to do Physical Therapy and the whole 9 yards. I was on crutches for weeks. It happened during the summer, so I didn't get out of school, or PE, or anything. What a rip-off!

When I got home, Michelle was glued to my side at all times. I think she almost felt guilty that it happened, that she didn't protect me or something. I think she was pretty traumatized. Besides my Mom, she was my primary caretaker. She got me anything I needed, helped me to the bathroom, and made sure I did my exercises. She was only about 10 years old!

And I healed, and life went on. When I first went back to school, I was very self-conscious of the scars, and wouldn't wear shorts for a long time. But I got tired of being hot, it is Florida after all, and I got over my insecurity. I figured if they didn't like it, they didn't have to look at it.

The scars have faded but are still very visible, and I rarely think about them. But I DO yell at my kids when they run in the house, and then force them to sit and listen as I retell this story.

WWTK - Trick or Treat Edition!

2011-11-02T07:26:00.005-04:00

It's time for WWTK, hosted by Mamarazzi, Queso, and Crazymama!

{1} How did you celebrate Halloween? Trick or treating? Adult party? Trunk or treat?

On Saturday night, we went to a party at my BFF's parent's house.

We trick or treated on Monday with my BFF & her family. (That is, the girls and I did. Tim had to work, and Andrew was with his Nana.)

BFF's nephew, Kayden. I love him like a fat kid loves Halloween candy!

{2} What candy is your favorite/the first thing you steal from the kids?

The rule is, all chocolate goes to mom. I have to check it out thoroughly to make sure it's safe. Then, I have to eat it.

My kids do not follow this rule. Rebels!! However, this year I trick-or-treated myself and got my own candy! Ha.

Trick or Treat, bitches!!

{3} What kind of candy do you give out, is it your favorite? or something you know you won't be tempted to eat?

I live out in the woods, literally. We don't get trick or treaters. But when I did give out candy it was usually my favorite.

How cute is Bentley a.k.a. Mickey Mouse??

{4} How soon after Halloween do you take down decorations and put away costumes?

Halloween is my favorite holiday & I love the decorations, so I'm usually reluctant to put them away. I'll probably do it this weekend.

Biker Chick & Doctor

(taken at Sonic, practically our second home)

{5} When do you decorate for the next holiday?

I keep up the Fall stuff that I brought out for Halloween, and when I take down the Halloween stuff I put up my Thanksgiving deco.

Kayden LOVES Elayna. He hates me. But I still love him!

I hope you enjoyed your Halloween,

and don't forget to check out all of the other WWTK posts!

Halloweekend in my City

2011-10-31T12:30:00.005-04:00

This weekend, the girls and I went to a Halloween party at the home of my best friend's parents.

We partied with her family, which I consider my 2nd family (the one I chose, heh heh).

Shelbie didn't dress up for the party, so I don't have any pics of her. She'll be dressing up tonight for Trick or Treating.

Elayna dressed up as a Pink Lady.

I had my camera on some weird setting by accident, so the picture quality is horrid.

My BFF's niece, Peighton, absolutley LOVED Elayna.

Peighton is almost two and totally adorable.

And Elayna loves little ones.

This is my BFF's youngest nephew, Bentley, and my BFF's Dad.

And this is my BFF, Danielle, and Me.

We had a great Halloweekend & we're looking forward to taking the kids Trick or Treating tonight! Hope you are enjoying your Halloween as well.

I'm linking up with Sundays in my City....on Monday.

If that surprises you, well, you must be new around here. ;-)

Frightful Fragments

2011-10-28T07:42:00.000-04:00

(not really, it just goes with the Halloween Theme)

Fragments are definitely all I have floating around in my brain after this week. It wasn't a bad week, just chaotic and tiring, and I'm glad it's over!

Halloween seriously snuck up on me this year. We didn't even get a pumpkin to carve! This weekend we have a Halloween party & other fun stuff going on. It's going to be fun but I'm sad that October is almost over already.

For the first time in about 20 years, I am working a job with a varied schedule. I wasn't sure how I'd like that, but I do...a lot! I especially like having as many as three days off in the middle of the week, and getting off at 12 or 1pm some days!

The kids & I watched the Gremlins this past week, and I have to confess my two favorite parts of that movie: One is when the Mom microwaves the bad gremlin. But the other part is where Billy's girlfriend is describing how her dad died.

Kate: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

Y'all, I know my sense of humor is warped. But that is some FUNNY SHIT. And the last line is the best. Pure comedic gold.

Brad Paisley has done it again. This song is GREAT and too funny! We love it here. I wish this was a real video, but it's entertaining nevertheless.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Don't forget to visit Mrs 4444 for more Friday Fragments.

Oh, MY, What HAVE I Done??

2011-10-26T19:27:00.001-04:00

Last week, I listed 22 things I have NEVER done.
This week, it's time to spin it around and list 22 things I HAVE done.

This should, theoretically, be easier; however, I'm going to try to keep it clean & family friendly, so maybe notsomuch. Heh.

1. I have gotten three tattoos. I love all three of them and want more.

2. I have gotten 3 piercings besides my ears (nose, belly button, and labret). They have all closed up but I'm ready for more (nose again, and I'm thinking about a Monroe).

3. I have cruised to the Bahamas.

4. I have learned what true love was, when my firstborn child was placed in my arms.

5. I have met Tim Tebow. And got his autograph, pics, and shook his hand. HE TOUCHED ME, people. *Swoon* I heart him.

{I tried SO hard to find a pic of him wearing a shirt, but I just couldn't do it. I got...distracted.}

6. I've flown on an airplane, ridden a train, a charter bus, sailed on a ship....guess I should ride in a helicopter next.

7. I have had surgeries....several of them. Appendectomy, three cesareans, gastric bypass......

8. I have sang karaoke, but it took me until I was 38 years old ~~and had a few drinks~~ to do it. And ya know what? I pretty much rocked it. Booyah!

9. I have gotten a divorce.

10. I have helped to prepare deceased people for the morgue (placing toe tags, putting them in body bags, etc.).

11. I have seen a woman react to the sudden death of her child. It was the most heartbreaking, epic meltdown I have ever seen. Her husband had to carry her out of the Pediatric ICU, cradled in his arms like a baby. I will never forget watching that.

12. I have received a terrifying phone call: "the results of your son's MRI are in, and the pediatrician would like to speak to you in person". (followed by: your son has

Chiari Malformation and needs brain surgery.)

13. I have received the most fanastically wonderful phone call of all time: when the nurse called me immediately after my son's brain surgery to let me know all was well, and then PUT MY SON ON THE PHONE. Incredible.

13. I have met bloggy friends, which was so much fun and I hope to do a lot more of that.

14. I have fallen in love.

15. I have fallen out of love.

16. I have learned that I am so much stronger than I ever realized.

17. I have traveled to the hospital via ambulance after a serious injury.

18. I have learned my strengths, my weaknesses, my passions.

19. I have swam in the ocean, river, springs, lakes, creeks, just about every body of water you can think of.

20. I have owned a cow, goats, and chickens, as well as many other pet animals. I bottle-fed the cow; he'd been abandoned by his mama.

21. I have been in the crowd during an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition filming, watching the building & the big reveal, and met several of the celebs on the show.

22. I have started a blog and maintained it for over 4 years; in fact, my 4th bloggiversary blew right by me in September. I love blogging and hope to keep it up for a long time to come.

Linking up with Mama Kat!

Happy GIRL!!!

2011-10-25T18:23:00.006-04:00

It's Tuesday, time for Happy Lists! And I have a whole lotta HAPPY today!
Remember my niece who is pregnant, and torturing me by waiting to announce the baby's sex at a party?
Well....first of all, the party had to be moved up due to her husband's work schedule, which of course made me HAPPY!!
...and we had it LAST NIGHT!!!
So the cake was cut, to reveal that Heather & DJ are expecting.......

A BABY GIRL!!!!! Which brings me to my Happy List.

~ Baby Girl SHOES~ Baby Girl CLOTHES~ Baby Girl HAIR BOWS~ Baby Girl OWL ROOM THEME (no idea where she got THAT inspiration from, heh)~ Baby Girl TOYS ~ Baby Girl KISSES & HUGS~ Baby Girl SHOPPING!!!
Now, if she was having a boy, I'd still have a Happy List. I honestly had no preference. But I can't wait to start spoiling a girl! And girls definitely have the best clothes & shoes. ;-)
What's your Happy today?Share with Mamarazzi!

Never Have I Ever....

2011-10-23T19:32:00.000-04:00

{inspired by Mama Kat & The Pioneer Woman}

Man, this was hard for me! I don't feel like I've done that much in my 38 years, but I really had a hard time coming up with 22 things I had NEVER done. But...I did it!

I Have NEVER......

1. Had a younger sibling. I'm the baby of three kids.

2. Smoked. Anything. Seriously.

3. Seen snow. Florida born & bred.

4. Been to Hawaii. But I want to go.

5 Went scuba diving. I'm a big chicken. I have snorkeled though, in the Bahamas. It was wonderful.

6. Broken a bone, except maybe a toe but I don't know for sure.

7. Gone to a prom. My high school boyfriend - turned ex husband - didn't want to go, so we didn't. Sometimes I wish I had.

(other times.....notsomuch.)

8. Bungee jumped. And I never will. Extreme sports are not for me!

9. Had a bikini wax. Yowch!

10. Been to the Florida Keys, which is ridiculous considering I have lived in Florida all my life.

11. Lived anywhere but Florida (see above). I have only lived outside of the county in which I was born for less than a year, then came right back. What can I say? It's home.

12. Owned a brand-new car. Which is probably good since we practically live out of our cars, so it would only look new for about an hour and a half.

13. Pushed a baby out of my va-jay-jay. Three c-sections for me.

14. Gotten a real massage from a professional masseusse. But if you're looking for Christmas gift ideas for me.......

15. Watched Gone with the Wind in its entirety. I've been most of it but never all at once.

16. Milked a cow. I've been on a lot of farms, both sets of grandparents farmed, but they didn't raise cows.

17. Met my great-grandparents. They had all passed away when I was born, and now all of my grandparents have passed as well.

18. Been white water rafting. It sounds like fun, but again, I'm kind of chicken.

19. Drank moonshine, although one of my grandparents had a still. I also went to a mud bog recently (don't ask, there was nothing better to do) where some friends were passing it around but I declined. Ick.

20. Read any of the Harry Potter books or seen any of the movies. They just hold no appeal for me.

21. Visited New York City, and I don't have a burning desire to do so. It's not on my bucket list or anything.

22. Learned how to sew properly. I barely passed Home Ec. I can sew a button on if I absolutely must, but that is the extent of my skills.

Whew!! How about you? Have you ever????

When You are No Longer Fat

2011-10-19T07:20:00.001-04:00

I'm Pouring My Heart Out today with Shell.

When you are no longer fat, so many things change.

Many of these changes are expected. But some will take you by surprise.

For instance....

When you are no longer fat, people will go out of their way to hold a door open for you. They will rush ahead, or wait extra long for you to get there.

When you are no longer fat, your jokes suddenly become much more funny. People actually listen to what you're saying. Suddenly you are quite charming.

When you are no longer fat, people will call you nicknames such as "Little One". You will look at them like they're crazy, and ask them to repeat that. After being overweight for almost your entire life, that will amaze you.

When you are no longer fat, people will openly express their disdain for fat people around you. They are not cruel enough to say anything in front of fat people, but they will certainly talk behind their back. They don't know that you used to be fat. You will be shocked at the disgust people have for overweight people.

When you are no longer fat, those outfits that look so cute on the hanger, actually look cute on YOU, too. Shopping is much more enjoyable.

When you are no longer fat, you will get hired on the spot for jobs that you apply for. Even in a bad economy, you won't have to wait for those phone calls that, in the past, often never came.

When you are no longer fat, you will appreciate being treated with kindness and respect. You will enjoy being complimented.

When you are no longer fat, you will want to cry out, I am still the same person I always was! And you will hurt for that fat girl who was ignored, dismissed, and treated with condescension. Because she's still in there, wondering why people could never see past the surface before.

Happy Hour*

2011-10-18T12:51:00.005-04:00

*I wish! lol

Here's the stuff that's currently making me happy.

~ This week is Elayna's first week of Safety Patrol duty. She is loving it! And she is so happy, which means I am so happy.

~ My night with my son. We had a great time. He makes me happy.

~ Speaking of Tim, he and Shelbie (my 15 yo ) are becoming much closer lately. Sibling love = Happy Mama!

~ I called my BFF's son to ask him a quick question. He is 18 and like another son to me. He ended the phone call with "Love you, Bye" and my heart melted into a big drippy puddle. I love that kid.

~ The reveal party to find out the sex of my niece's baby had to be moved. Instead of October 29th, it looks like we'll be doing it Monday the 24th. YAY!!! :o) Happy!

~ Random texts in the middle of the day that let you know someone is thinking of you. HAPPY!

Dum Dum, Give me Gum Gum!

2011-10-17T07:20:00.003-04:00

For the past approximately 20 years, I have not chewed gum.

I have TMJ disorder, and for years, it hurt to chew gum. Like, major pain, severe headache lasting throughout the following day, and hurting my entire skull. Throbbing. So, I had to finally call it quits. Gum and I, we broke up.

And then. Just a few weeks ago, I had a little night out. Maybe I had a little to drink. Maybe I had a lot to drink. Who's counting? And when the night was wrapping up, someone offered me a piece of gum. Which I think most of us realize is nice person code for "You got some major funky breath going on." And somehow, my soggy inebriated brain thought that sounded like a great idea. So I took a stick of gum, and Oh.My.God. It was like an orgasm in my mouth. I had no idea how much I had missed Gum. I had no idea how amazing the new flavors of gum tasted. I had no idea what I'd been missing in all these years!

And here's the most amazing part: I did not get a headache.

And maybe you know by now that I have an itsy-bitsy bit of OCD, and I tend to obsess on things. It's not addiction, exactly. It's just obsession. Harmless little obsession. *cue Psycho music*

So, that's what's up with me and gum now. It doesn't give me a headache any more. I don't know why, but I'm not questioning Gum. I am obsessed. I am a gum fiend. I chew gum, I buy gum, I search for gum. I ask for gum. I smack gum and I pop gum. I chew like a cow. I am totally obnoxious. See, what I had forgotten about gum is that for some weird reason, chewing gum makes me happy. It puts me in a better mood. Who needs Prozac? I have spearmint Extra, baby.

Which leads me to the burning question on my mind this Monday morning.

Do you have any gum?

Fragmentationally Challenged

2011-10-14T10:11:00.004-04:00

I don't really have a whole lot to say today. I'm lacking inspiration. But I'll put pretty dividers on here to spruce the place up and fill some space and it'll all be good!

I have a date tonight....

............with my son. Tim. I think we're going to go out for dinner. I heart him.

I love this girl more every day, and this post tops them all. Unless you just hate laughing, I highly recommend reading her blog.

Random Convo from Dysfunction Junction:

Tim - "He wouldn't hurt a fly. He wouldn't hurt a fly if it assaulted him, and he was carrying a shotgun. And a can of Raid."

My teenage daughter and I have a "song". You know, a song we call "our song". It just cracks us up!

Have a wonderful weekend,

and don't forget to visit Mrs 4444 for more Friday Fragments!

Happy Stuff

2011-10-11T09:03:00.003-04:00

Iiiiit's HAPPY TIME! Here I go!
* I have finally started seeing clients at my new job. And I LOVE it! One client in particular is just awesome. She is 93 and keeps me laughing the entire time I'm with her. LOVE her. I'll give you just one little gem from her, about the girl who had taken care of her the previous day: "She was real nice, but she was dressed like a tramp."
* I went out to karaoke Friday night with my BFF. We hadn't been in a while and I was SO ready for a night out! First we went to dinner at a BBQ restaurant, and brought 4 of our 6 kids with us. We all had a blast, although I'm not sure we're welcome back in that establishment. ;-) It was a fun night.
* My oldest son Tim has changed so much recently, in a good way. Last night he totally blew my mind. Earlier in the day, he and Elayna, my 10 year old, were playing video games, and they were bickering in the way that siblings often do while playing video games. I didn't pay any attention, to be honest. Then Tim went off to work, and when he got home late last night, he and I were sitting around talking, along with my oldest daughter. Then out of the blue, he asked me if Elayna was in bed, then got up and went into her room. When he came out about 5 minutes later I asked "What were you doing?" And he said "I was being mean to her earlier today when we were playing video games and I wanted to apologize. I felt really bad."
And then they had to revive me with smelling salts.....no seriously, though, I was floored. Shocked. And impressed. That was SO out of character for him. When Elayna got up this morning I asked her if he'd been unusually mean yesterday, but she said no. She seemed shocked too, but I know it absolutely made her day. My kids fight like all kids do, but they truly love each other and it's nice when I get to see that side of them.
* And my friends are still at it; brightening my day on a daily basis, reminding me that I am not the alone in the day to day craziness of life, and that they love me.

* OMG, are you watching Halloween Wars? It's like Cupcake Wars, Halloween edition, only without the cupcakes. (I know, that made no sense.) It's the same host & setup as Cupcake Wars, but they carve pumpkins and use cake and candy to make these incredible Halloween scenes. I LOVE it!
Okay, happy campers, go visit Mamarazzi for some more Happy stuff!

It's a.....

2011-10-08T18:16:00.004-04:00

....surprise.

AKA, torture.

When my niece, Heather, found out she was pregnant, my sister (her mom) told her about this really cool idea she had seen on TV. This couple had their ultrasound, but instead of the tech telling them the baby's sex, they had him write it down and then seal it in an envelope. They then took that envelope to a bakery and told them if it was a girl, to bake a cake that was pink on the inside, and if it was a boy, blue. Then ice it with a gender-neutral color. The couple then gathered all their friends and family for a party, and when they cut they cake, everyone found out the sex of the baby.

Heather thought this was a great idea, and so did I. She decided to do the same thing. Her gender ultrasound was scheduled for October 7th, so she decided to have the party on October 29th. That sounded great.

Except now we're in that waiting period. They had the ultrasound yesterday and immediately took the envelope to the bakery. And I am losing my mind.

You see, I have NO patience. None. And suddenly these three weeks feel like forever!

They got a video of the ultrasound, and last night my three kids and I went to my parents' house and we all watched the video along with Heather, her husband and her mom. I got right in front of the TV and watched like a hawk. Heather's husband said "What are you looking for?" and I said "DUH! A PENIS!!!"

But the ultrasound tech left out the money shot!

Sigh.

It was really awesome to get to share that ultrasound video with my family. My kids were thrilled. We are so excited to have another baby coming into our family. The party will be great, too.

But I'm considering breaking into a bakery after hours to get some inside info.......anyone want to be my getaway driver?

Time After Time

2011-10-05T07:35:00.004-04:00

It's Wednesday, and time for another installment of WWTK!

This week they want to know what we do with our time.

1. If you had an extra hour to do ANYTHING for yourself each day, what would you do?

Most definitely, an hour phone call with my BFF. We rarely get to talk on the phone, although we text daily, but a solid, uninterrupted hour of conversation with her? Priceless.

2. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

I am a total night owl. I always have been. And it's funny that this question is asked today, because for the first time in over five years, I will be going to work at 7am. I worked nights for over 4 years at the hospital, and for the past year have worked nights and/or late mornings. I am slightly freaking out about having to get up at the butt crack of dawn in the morning!

*ETA* I didn't sleep last night. Like, at all. This should be interesting!

3. How much sleep do you get on an average night?

This is hard to answer because, as I stated above, I'm a night owl and I sleep weird hours. But my best guess is 6-8 hours per night/day. I LOVE sleep. I just don't like doing it at night. Which is going to be tricky now. lol

4. When do you find time to blog/surf the ol' interweb?

Rarely, these days! I usually get time online after the kids go to bed. It's nice and quiet and peaceful!

5. What is the ONE thing you're never too busy for?

I'm never too busy for Facebook. One, because I can check in quickly. Also because I can do that on the run; my phone is not a Smart Phone, but it can access Facebook. So I am on there a lot throughout the day.

Visit Mamarazzi and Queso to join in for WWTK!

Happy List Time!!

2011-10-04T18:20:00.002-04:00

Note: I'm putting DysFUNctional MOMents on hiatus for now.

For one thing, I just don't have any extra time to devote to it.

And for another, Mamarazzi (one of my favorite bloggers EVER!!) has moved her Happy List to Tuesday!

So without further ado, let's get happy!

~ I've mentioned this one already recently, but I am SO excited about my new job, or I should actually say, career. Every day I learn more and become more confident that it's a wonderful company and right where I need to be. Happy!

~ I have to say it again - I have amazing friends who build me up and support me no matter what, and they make me all kinds of happy!

~ My son Tim is living with me full time now. He LOVES his new job and they love him. He works his butt off. Best of all, he is happy - very happy. His whole attitude has changed. I have loved him with all my heart since I found out I was pregnant, but I will tell you straight up that there have been moments where I have not LIKED him a whole lot. But now, he is so much fun to be around. And when my babies are happy, Mama is HAPPY!

~ We find out at the end of this month if my niece is having a baby boy or girl. Her pregnancy is progressing wonderfully and I am SOOOO FREAKING HAPPY!!! I can't wait to squeeze a fresh new baby!!

~ FALL! I say it every year, I LOVE FALL! It's my favorite season. Soon I will be whining about the cold, but I love the season, the way things look, the events of fall, the decorations, and HALLOWEEN! Happy!!

~ All of these HAPPY things have combined to give me a fresh new outlook on life. I'm going to be making some positive changes to keep the happy....well...happy, if you will! I'm remembering that I am a strong tough chick and I'm not going to let life's little bumps get me down. I'm going to take a little more time for ME, because guess what - I deserve it! And ME TIME makes me HAPPY!

I hope you're happy, and I hope you check out the other Happy Lists over at Dandelion Wishes!

Pardon....

2011-09-30T12:46:00.008-04:00

....the language, but I just could not resist.

Life is a curious mixture of awesome, meh, and craptastic lately.

I think I mentioned that I took a job with a Home Health Agency. I am getting certified for everything under the sun; I'll be able to perform surgery by the time I'm done! OK maybe not quite, but I'll give you a discount if you let me try.....
Anyway, it's really awesome that I'm getting all of this certification & training in my field. On Monday I'm scheduled to complete the last certification & evaluation and then I'll start seeing clients.
I absolutely love the owners; you know when your new boss quotes comedian Ron White, you're gonna love your job. "You can't fix stupid." Enough.Said.

I have had some wonderful quality time with friends both old and new, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. And I have more friend-dates lined up in the near future, which is even better!

Last Friday night I went to Shelbie's high school's homecoming game; I was only planning on dropping her off, but her cousins were there. These are her cousins on her father's side and I don't get to see them often, but I was there when these kids were born and we were very close when they were little. The oldest is now in the Marines, and he's deploying to Afghanistan next month. So, they talked me in to coming into the game and I ended up staying the whole time and hanging out with them and having a blast. And Mr Marine is coming over to our house tonight for a cookout, too. I love that kid to pieces!

I still consider them my niece & nephew; they still call me Aunt Cyndy. The thing with divorce is you don't necessarily want to divorce the whole family! These kids & I will always be close, and anyone who doesn't like it, well....they know what they can do.

Elayna was sworn in on Wednesday as a Safety Patrol. This is a high honor for 5th graders, and all of my (bio) children have been patrols, and I was too way back in the dark ages. At the end of the year, they take a field trip to Washington DC. She is super proud of herself, and I am so excited for her!

It's soccer season and I'm always running Tim to work or Shelbie to some friend's house, on top of everything else. Free time and sleep are things that I vaguely remember, but don't have a lot of recent experience with. Which is why my blogging is so half-assed, a day late, and a dollar short lately. It will get better. Or, it won't, and ya know what? I'm okay with that, too.

Stop by Mrs 4444's place for more Friday Fragment posts!

WWTKW ~ Nom nom nom!

2011-09-28T21:34:00.004-04:00

Y'all already know that I LOVE to cook. So I was happy to see that today's "We Want to Know Wednesday"'s theme was FOOD! (Even though I'm late...as always!)

1} What is one thing (food or drink) that you MUST have everyday?
Diet Dr Pepper. It's my crack!

{2} What is your "go to" food when you don't feel well/need comfort?
I love salty comfort foods, like chips & dip. Or pizza. Or chocolate.

{3} Is there a dish that you make that people request when they visit your home/a family favorite?
Chicken & dumplings is number one. My potato salad is also in high demand, as well as my lasagna.

{4} What are 3 foods you have TRIED, do not like and will NEVER eat again?
brussels sprouts, parsnips, & venison.

and our final question comes from Dee@ HomesickCajun:

{5} What's one thing that you love to eat that most people would think is weird and/or gross??
I like to eat sour dill pickles with peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. I don't really eat weird stuff, just some weird combinations.

Visit Mamarazzi & Queso for more delicious WWTKs!

DysFUNctional Moments 9.27.11

2011-09-27T00:32:00.006-04:00

This post is a confession.

I have been neglecting my house work.

Neglecting my cooking, cleaning, laundry.

I've been neglecting my pets.

I've been neglecting this blog.

I've been neglecting my husband.

And I've even been neglecting my children.

What's causing me to do this, you might wonder?
Illness? An addiction? A sordid affair?

Not exactly. It's none of those (and yet, it's all of those).

It's this.

Scary Mommy Confessional

Be careful if you click - it is seriously addicting! I could read there all day. Utterly fascinating stuff!

So tell me - if you were going to confess....what would it be? I won't tell anyone - promise! ;-)

Link up below!!

Where I'm From

2011-09-26T01:49:00.006-04:00

I am from the Lake Road; from catfish and alligators swimming in the sun.

I am from the dirt road on the outskirts of town; quiet, dusty, and hot.

I am from the boon docks; from magnolias with Spanish moss and wisteria hanging from their branches, blowing in the breeze.

I am from Thanksgiving Family Reunions and stubborn pride; from Cherokees and Pilgrims.

I am from fiery tempers and fierce love.

From "be home before dark"; from bicycles and jars of fireflies.

I am from Southern Baptists and dinner on the grounds; musty-smelling hymnals, hard wooden pews; from Thou Shalt Not and Amazing Grace.

I’m from Florida crackers; from chicken & dumplings, boiled peanuts and banana pudding.

From my father's father with his moonshine still and goats; mama's daddy with his tobacco farm and pigs. From farmers tans and tractors; hard work from dawn till dusk.

I am from reel to reel silent movies; black and white pictures in an album and sepia photos with smiles on demand, all arranged in meticulous order by my Mama after we were grown.

I am from old-fashioned values; from country music and the salt of the Earth.

{Linking up very late to Mama Kat's workshop,

because this exercise truly called out to me.}

Birthdays in my City

2011-09-25T19:30:00.004-04:00

Today we had Andrew's birthday party at a Splash Park near our home.

(Yes, it's still warm enough for a splash park party here. Plenty warm enough!)

It was overcast, and started pouring after about an hour and a half.

But it was fun while it lasted!

*And a good time was had by all!*

Reasons & Seasons

2011-09-24T02:33:00.006-04:00

I've been a total slacker blogger lately. And I'm okay with that.

This is just going to be a sort of stream of consciousness post, because that's what I've got to offer.

I've been doing a whole lot of thinking lately. In fact, a friend recently told me I think too much. I can't argue with that, but sometimes it's a good thing.

I was raised to believe that certain things were good and certain things were bad, period.

Everything....everything was black and white. There were no shades of gray.

Happiness was not a priority. Hard work and doing what's "right" were.

People who do certain things are bad. Simple as that.

A few examples...divorce was wrong, for almost any reason. It was better to be eternally miserable in your marriage than to divorce and be happy.

People who go out and drink are bad. Period.

It's better to work a job that you utterly despise, so much that you come home and scream & curse at your family, than to quit that job. (don't ask me to explain the logic in that.)

Over the years, I have slowly developed very different opinions than those I was brought up with.

And the older I get, the more I learn and change and grow. I'm 38 years old and I'm still growing and learning and changing.

I have a good friend who is struggling in her third marriage. She's unhappy, for many reasons. But she struggles with what people will think of her if this marriage ends also.

To which I say, who fucking cares? Not everyone is cut out to have one everlasting marriage. Some people are, and that's wonderful. Truly. But that's not what everyone has in store for them in life.

The fact that a marriage or other relationship fails, doesn't necessarily mean it was a mistake. It may be that it was what you needed in your life at that time. Then the time comes that it's not what you need any more. Maybe that person has changed; maybe you have changed. Maybe life has changed.

I understand that marriage is supposed to be forever. But unfortunately, that's not always the reality of life.

When there are kids involved, that makes it harder, and being raised in those situations is definitely not ideal. But at the same time, I know a lot of adults who were raised by single moms, had somewhat tumultuous lives, good old dysfunctional families...and they are okay. I think as mothers, we have to take care of our kids first, and take care of ourselves second. Because our kids deserve happy parents. I can tell you firsthand that living with a miserable parent is pretty damned miserable. (living with two miserable parents is even worse.)

It reminds me of the poem, "A Reason, a Season, a Lifetime". Not every relationship is a lifetime relationship. Some are reasons, and some are seasons. And that's not necessarily because you made a mistake or made a bad decision.

I'm not advocating divorce, or trivializing marriage; at least, that's not my intention. I'm just tired of the judgement, and tired of people beating themselves up because their life has not been a bed of roses. Bottom line, we all want to be happy. We all make mistakes in that quest to be happy, some more than others. That's how we learn. That's life. That's living.

A Reason, a Season, a Lifetime

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

(author unknown)

Linking up with Miss Elaine-ous Monday!

DysFUNctional MOMents

2011-09-21T00:32:00.006-04:00

I have so much going on right now, it's completely crazy!
BUT...they're all good things. So I'm not complaining!I am, however, late for my own meme. Again.

The other night Shelbie asked me to paint her fingernails. I reminded her that I'm really not very good at painting nails, but she whined and begged, so I finally agreed ~~to shut her up~~ because I am so sweet.

So, I painted her nails while she watched TV. And basically made a hot mess. When I was done, she looked at her nails, said "Oh.My.God." and promptly got out the nail polish remover.

I've never been very girly-girl myself. I'm pretty low-maintenance. I can't do hair. I can't do nails. And I have two daughters.

It's time to face facts; I suck at being a Girl Mom!

Link up if you wanna! Obviously it doesn't have to be today, since I can't even get to my own meme on time!

Sunday in my City

2011-09-18T20:04:00.004-04:00

Happy

Birthday

Andrew!

Andrew turned 12 last Tuesday.

I had fun putting 12 candles on a cupcake.

Lighting them was....interesting, as well. ;-)

Visit Unknown Mami for more Sundays in my City posts!

I Don't Know If I Can Yell Any Louder

2011-09-15T21:59:00.006-04:00

I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Physically, emotionally, dysfunctionally.

It's been even more chaotic than usual around here.

It feels like being on a ship that keeps filling with water, and as soon as I plug one hole, another one pops up.
It's like one step forward and two steps back.

It's like my life is a giant whack-a-mole game.

I need a vacation. One that involves copious amounts of alcoholic beverages.

But, alas, that's not on the horizon, so I guess I'll just frag!

I already decorated my house for fall/Halloween. I figure if the stores can do it, why can't I? This is my favorite time of year and I'm going to enjoy every moment. I have fall tarts burning, too. Mmmm....

It's that "special" time of the month (ugh) so I stocked up on chocolate at the grocery store today. So what do you think I'm craving?
Oatmeal raisin cookies.

The number of dogs in my possession has suddenly tripled. My neighbor's dogs got out today, and have been on the lam all day long. They've been in and out of our yard, and at one point they had Meep treed! (they're hunting dogs.) Finally tonight, I heard the distinctive beagle bark out in my yard. Two of the three were hanging around, and came right up to me. Since it was so late, I just put them on the screened porch with my boxer. Thankfully, she's the sweetest dog alive and is just thrilled to have two new friends visiting for the evening!

I made Mexican Lasagna for the first time tonight for dinner. It was so good, I posted the recipe on Southern Loving!

This video absolutely cracks me up, which gives you some insight into my twisted sense of humor. Love it!

That's all I got for ya, folks!

Have a great weekend, and

GO GATORS!!

Blog Blessings

2011-09-15T19:13:00.007-04:00

I have been very fortunate to have received some wonderful things through the blog world. I don't enter every giveaway out there; only things that really jump out at me, or mean something to me.

Recently, I won two amazing giveaways, and received both things within the past week. These two items are both incredibly special. They aren't just a simple prize, they are both artwork. I was able to have some choice in what I received. I am SO thrilled to have both of these things in my home!

The first was a painting that I won from Mama Sick. It's by an artist named Robin Maria Pedrero. I was able to choose the print that I wanted. It was SO hard to choose! But the one that spoke to me, which will probably not surprise anyone, is called Fleurs with Black Cat. I absolutely love it.

The picture doesn't do it justice; I took it outside for better light but it was overcast. Check it out on her Etsy shop; it's really beautiful.

The other wonderful creation that I won was from Pooh's Corner. It's an owl pillow! And totally adorable. She asked me what color I liked, and of course I said purple. But I didn't expect her to personalize it the way she did! She put my blog name and tagline on it. It's a Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional owl! It is just so special to me.

It was so beautifully packaged, especially before my kids got ahold of it.

How cute is that?!

Not only is Christina from Pooh's Corner sweet and talented, she is also generous! She told me that for the next two weeks, if my blog readers order an owl from her Etsy Shop, and type in the coupon code: dysFUNction - you will get a 25% discount! The owl price is $20 and that would make it $15 plus shipping. Fantastic!!

**ETA:** There's a glitch going on right now on the Etsy page and the owls aren't showing up, so if you want to order one, you can contact Christina via email: forever1pooh@yahoo.com and/or via her PC Boutique Facebook page.

Have you received any Blog Blessings? Tell me about them!

DysFUNctional MOMents - Emo Cheerleaders?

2011-09-13T14:11:00.003-04:00

I so suck at life. Late to my own meme! Oh well, better late than never!

Elayna is my 10 year old daughter. She has many different interests. She has played several sports, and loves to sing and dance. These interests are subject to change at any time. So when she wanted to sign up for cheerleading for our rec center this year, I kind of shrugged it off and let the deadline slide by.

Money is tight, and I really wasn't sure if she was serious about cheerleading. This is my "emo" kid; highly dramatic and in fact, she looked at her smiling stuffed frog just yesterday and grumbled, "Why do you have to be so HAPPY all the time??"
She's quite the little ray of sunshine. ~~just like her mama~~

So yeah, not exactly what you might imagine as the perfect candidate for cheerleading.

But the other day, I took the kids to the rec center to play, and the cheerleading squad was practicing. The very one she wanted to join. Two of her friends are on the team, and she talked with them and then hung out, watching practice. She copied their moves, and had a good time. When practice was over, the coaches & some of the parents stayed, discussing some cheer business. Elayna kept doing the cheer she had learned, and at one point, I saw one of the coaches watching her. Then she said something to the other coach, who then turned and watched her. I said, "Elayna. let's get outta here, I think they think you're stealing their cheers."

So, we went home and thought nothing else of it. Until I got an email from the mom of one of the friends on the squad. She's also the Team Mom and a friend of mine. And the email said, quote:

"Hey Cyndy! Just wanted to let you know that K's cheer coach saw Elayna doing the girls' cheer (after the girls left and we were having our meeting) and she said Elayna was really good and was amazed she caught on so quickly to what they were doing. She was quite impressed. :) She needs to get in cheer next year! ;)"

Sigh. Yet another Mom Fail.

And yes, I read the email to Elayna, who beamed with pride. She literally turned red. My little Emo Cheerleader.

PS- Today is Andrew's 12th Birthday! I'm sure that will make for some DysFUNctional MOMents as well. ;-)

Link up already!!

Friday Fragments: Hanging on for dear life.

2011-09-09T15:23:00.000-04:00

I'm still alive. Things have been totally chaotic here, but I am finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. (now I'm just praying it ain't the dang train!)

* My best friend has sleep apnea. She and her doctors were certain that after she had weight loss surgery and lost over 200 lbs, it would be eliminated. But, that hasn't happened. So now she's going for further studies because it looks like it may not be simple obstructive apnea, but central apnea, which is more deadly. Please, keep her in your prayers.

* If you feel like throwing my whole family in those prayers too, that'd be awesome.

* Andrew especially. He almost had to have an unsupervised 8- hour visit with his BM this weekend. We got it reduced to a four hour supervised visit, thankfully.

* I truly hope to catch up with many of you this weekend. If not, next week for sure! And I hope all is well. Sorry for this lame post, but really, it's all I've got right now!

GO GATORS!!

DysFUNctional MOMents

2011-09-05T23:02:00.003-04:00

Andrew's birthday is coming up next week, and we're having his party at a nearby park.

It's going to be great because he can run around, act crazy, and have a good time.

The weather is still great here in Florida, so we don't have to worry about that.

So, why, you may be asking, is this a DysFUNctional MOMent?
Because I picked this location for one reason, and one reason only.

So that I don't have to clean up after everybody.

No pre-party clean up. No post-party cleanup.

That is called winning.

Link up to your DysFUNctional MOMent post, and please, leave a comment!

The Golden Years

2011-09-04T23:18:00.003-04:00

Tuesday is my parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary.

We celebrated today, a small, family gathering.

My mom is 68 years old, my dad is 75.

I think they look great!

The framed photo below on the left was taken

on the day they got married, 50 years ago.

Happy Anniversary to Nanny & Papa Dysfunctional! ;-)

Linking up with Unknown Mami for Sundays in my City.

And We Shall Call Her Grace.

2011-08-31T00:25:00.000-04:00

I believe that all of the cats saved from the hoard were saved by grace.

The cat that ~~we chose~~ chose us

has effortlessly moved her way into our home.....

.....and into our hearts.....

....and onto our pillows. ;-)

And she definitely spreads her goodwill to all of us,

and her love is bestowed freely.

And also given back - we all adore her.

So, we shall call her Grace.

Linking up with my girls Angie & Amanda for

Wordful Wednesday!

DysFUNctional MOMents II - One Child Left Behind

2011-08-29T22:44:00.000-04:00

It's Tuesday and time to confess this week's #momfail moments!
And of course, I have one ready and waiting.

Sunday was a busy day for us. At least, that's the defense I'm using. The girls went to a church picnic with my sister, niece, & niece's husband. Tim was at a friend's house, & Andrew was at MIL's house. John & I had errands to run, and that's also the day we adopted our new kitty.

Once we got the cat, we took her straight home, arriving just after my sister & her family brought the girls home. Tim was home also, along with two of his friends. We came inside and showed the cat to everyone, and chatted with my sister & family, Tim, and his friends. We were laughing and having a good ol' time.

And then the phone rang. It was John's mom. The infamous MIL.

What could she possibly want?

Oh, she was wondering where we were. Because it was 6:35pm. And we were supposed to meet her at 6pm to pick up Andrew.

We totally forgot about our kid.

Um....oops?

Now it's your turn! Link up a DysFUNctional MOMent, so I don't feel like such a douche.

Please link directly to your DysFUNctional MOMents post,

and leave a comment after linking up!

Like Peas & Carrots

2011-08-28T22:19:00.007-04:00

In June, 700 cats were seized from the largest hoarding case The Humane Society has ever seen in the United States.

This happened just a few miles from my home.

According to the article, "People who needed to give up their cat and who visited Haven Acres likely got to see only the part of the facility that showed it in its best light, Animal Services Director David Flagler said.

"They thought they were taking their cats to a country club environment, and even some of our own staff thought the conditions were much better than what was found," Flagler said."

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will understand that I followed this case closely. We are animal lovers and rescue advocates, and have done a lot of volunteering and fostering throughout the past few years. I also have a personal connection to the situation; I went to school with the daughter of the man who was arrested in this case. I've talked to her on Facebook about the situation. She cut all ties with her 'father' years ago, and was so happy and relieved to hear that the couple was finally arrested.

So I'm sure it will not come as any surprise to any of you that, when they announced that the cats were now available for adoption, I felt compelled to get involved.

This weekend, The Humane Society held a huge event called the Florida Feline 550. Out of the 700 cats seized from the hoard, 550 were available for adoption this weekend. Many of the cats had to be euthanized, some are still undergoing medical treatment, and some are being held to be used as evidence in the criminal case.

The rest, five hundred and fifty cats, were at our local Humane Society, looking for homes.

And naturally, I knew one of them had to be mine.

It wasn't hard to find a cat to adopt; what was hard was to narrow it down to only one. But we already have four cats; one was my limit.

{she loves MY pillow.}

And once again, those of you who know me will not be surprised that the cat I chose has only one eye, and one kidney. I gravitate towards the animals that most people wouldn't want. There were many beautiful cats there. It's astounding how wonderful they look now, considering the condition they were in when the HSUS found them. One tiny cat that I really liked has gained three pounds since she was brought in. She only weighs about 5 pounds now. Three months of good care makes a world of difference.

I'm a huge fan of Forrest Gump, so when I saw a cage containing two cats with the labels "Forrest" and "Jennie", I naturally looked in. And that's when I saw my sweet one-eyed girl.

After being reassured by the vet that her kidney issues wouldn't require expensive medical care that we just can't afford, I knew Jennie was our girl. (I'm not sure if we'll keep the name or change it.)

She was born with two kidneys, but while at the "cat haven", she became pregnant and got an infection, involving her uterus. When the UF Vet School opened her up, they found severe infection and a mummified kitten. There were adhesions attaching it to her kidney, which is why it had to be removed as well as the reproductive organs. But she will be able to live just fine with one kidney. She was born with two eyes as well, but one ruptured due to untreated infection.

To me, she's beautiful, just the way she is.

She's settling in well. She explores when she feels like it, and hides when she feels like it, but mostly hangs out on my bed, on my pillow, looking out the window.

I hope she understands that she is safe now. She'll never be stuck in a cage again with minimal food and water. She'll always have a home, and food, and love.

Linking up with Unknown Mami's Sunday in my City.

AND!!

The brand new meme over at Miss Elaine-ous Life!

Raising Awareness, One Blog Post at a Time

2011-08-27T02:41:00.003-04:00

As bloggers, we have the potential to reach a lot of people. We share our lives, rant and rave, and have giveaways.

But there's something else we can do. We can share information and literally change lives.

A couple of years ago, I was doing that in a series of posts, but after a while I stopped. I've decided to start again; I want to use my internet home to bring important information to you from time to time. Information that will make you think, and maybe change the way you do look at things.

This is a post from March of 2009. I got so many comments from people who knew nothing about this issue, and because of my post, will refuse to take the medication I discussed. And who knows how many people read and didn't comment? To think that, in some small way, I'm making a difference with this blog, means everything to me.

So please read this post, do your own research, and let me know what you think.

Educate Yourself - Premarin

I know that most of my readers are many years away from menopause.

But there's a very important issue regarding medication prescribed to many women for menopause symptoms. This drug is called Premarin. It's a shortened version of Pregnant Mares' Urine, because that's what it's made from. It's also sold under the names PremPro, PremPac and PremPhase. The production of this drug has cost the lives of over a million horses.

The issue here is the treatment of horses for the making of this drug. There is no government regulation for the treatment of these horses. They are kept in stalls & strapped to urine bags 6 months out of the year. They are kept in production, foaling every year, for eight to nine years, then sold for slaughter. A horse's normal life span is 20-25 years. The foals are sold at auction, usually for slaughter as well.

I recently spoke to a volunteer from the Horse Sanctuary near my home. She said of all the horses they have who have come from all sorts of neglect & abuse situations, the Premarin mares are the saddest cases. Some of them have lived at the Sanctuary for years, but still will not allow any human to get anywhere near them. They can only feed and water them, they can't give them any type of care that requires contact.

What we need to do is refuse to take Premarin or any other drug containing Pregnant Mares' Urine. There are many alternatives to aid in the natural life changes of menopause. Menopause is not a disease. It can be dealt with without hormone treatment (my mother is proof of that). Premarin also has risks; it's been linked to breast cancer, heart attacks, blood clots, and strokes.

I'll leave you with a few links about Premarin and Premarin Mares, so you can Educate Yourself! (or your mom, your grandma, your aunts, your friends!)

nopmu.org

aspca.org

equineadvocates.com
nationalhorseprotectionleague.com

(pics below are disturbing)

Fraggin' from the End of my Rope

2011-08-25T23:12:00.001-04:00

~ It's been a rough week, emotionally draining, and today was the worst! I'm at the end of my rope, for sure.

~ Among other stresses, today John went to the end of our dirt road, as usual, to pick up the Littles off of the bus. Andrew got off...but not Elayna. It took us 30 minutes to figure out where my child was! She missed the first-run bus, so the school dean put her on a second-run bus. She didn't tell anyone, so nobody knew where she was. The secretary finally learned, via the bus driver, what had happened and that she had been dropped off, so we had to rush back to the bus stop. Meanwhile she had already walked all the way home. She was scared, we were scared, it was just a very scary time!

~ Thanks for voting in the bedtime poll. My MIL decided I put Andrew to bed too early. They go to bed at 9pm at the earliest; on nights where they have soccer or other activities it's even later. And they get up at 6am! John works nights so it's just me and the kids Monday - Friday. I just love how she wants to tell ME what to do in my home! Grrr.

~ Speaking of MIL, Andrew, & stress...getting Andrew back after an entire summer at MIL's, where there are basically no rules, is challenging, to put it mildly.

~ Okay, I have to confess to a bloggy pet peeve. When the name you use for comments has nothing to do with your blog, and/or is a very common name, I never know who is commenting unless I click the name and visit the profile. I have several people with the same name who comment frequently, and sometimes I assume they are all the same person and don't realize I have a new commenter who I should be visiting. It would be SO awesome if you could use (for example) the name "Mary @ Totally Awesome Blog" or "Totally Awesome Blogger" for comments!
*WHEW* I feel better now.

~ Thanks for participating in/commenting on my new meme, DysFUNctional MOMents! I think it will be fun and I really hope it catches on and takes off.

~ My guest post is up now over at Single Mom in the South! =)

~ The BFF & I sang this last Friday night at Karaoke. It's kind of our theme song! ;-)

Have a GREAT weekend!

Visit Mrs 4444 for more Friday Fragment fun!

Where Am I?

2011-08-25T07:00:00.003-04:00

I've ran away from home today!

I'm guest posting over at Single Mom in the South...so check it out!

WWTK - This is deep stuff!

2011-08-24T03:15:00.004-04:00

I'm joining in with Mamarazzi & Queso again this Wednesday for We Want to Know!
1. What is the best advice someone has ever given you?To accept the things I cannot change. It's allowed me to let go and stop stressing about things that were extremely frustrating to me. Sometimes you just have to step back and accept that you've done all that you can do.
2. What is your greatest accomplishment?Raising my kids. Through all the craziness and fun dysFUNction, they are turning out to be pretty awesome people.
3. Who do you admire?My best friend, Danielle. She has been through so much in her life, but she never plays the victim role. She's a wonderful mother, and has a huge heart and loves very deeply, even those who have hurt her in the past. She's forgiving and doesn't hold a grudge.
4. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?I would have more patience. I am a very impatient person, and it causes me a lot of frustration. Also, no gray hair! ;-)
5. How do you want to be remembered?As someone who helps those in need, without expectation of reward. I don't just mean the hungry or homeless; for example, the other day some people I had just met locked their keys in their car. So I used our AAA service to get a locksmith out there for them. They were so happy! I think helping our 'neighbors' and taking care of one another is what life is all about. And that includes animals as well.
Join in this fun Meme! Just visit one of the hosts (linked above) for the questions & rules.

DysFUNctional MOMents Tuesday!

2011-08-22T23:15:00.007-04:00

I started this blog almost four years ago (in fact, next month is my blogiversary!). I named it "Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional", and became known as DysFUNctional Mom. So, it's no secret that I have my DysFUNctional MOMents, and I am pretty sure that YOU do too.

(yes, I'm looking at YOU!)

And now, the time has come for you to share them. Whether they're just funny, or a big oops, or even something that you really screwed up....we want to hear about them. And then, we want you to link up here! And it doesn't always have to be a parenting moment. We have dysfunctional moments of all types!

My favorite DysFUNctional MOMent of the past week is when I posted this as my Facebook status:

Cyndy: Is it too late to decide I dont want any children?

My kids were driving me NUTS that day! And fortunately, most of my Facebook friends get my sense of humor. Especially since I posted this the next day:

Cyndy: "A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible ...No, wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of wine. It's wine that does all that. Never mind." - April Pierce

See? I have "wife" DysFUNctional MOMents, too! (I totally couldn't resist that one.)

And in keeping with the Facebook post theme, I'm sharing yet another one. I've had a raging toothache all weekend, and went to the dentist today. I need a root canal & I'm on meds for now. So this exchange occurred tonight between my niece and I:

Heather: Piiizzzzza for dinnah... big surprise?! Ehh, not so much!

OK, don't leave me hanging, I know I'm not the only one with DysFUNctional MOMents.

So, join in and link up.

Like all the other link-ups out there, please link directly to your "DysFUNctional MOMents" post, and please add my adorable "DysFUNctional MOMents" button to your post!

Personal Accountability- A Rant.

2011-08-22T03:22:00.009-04:00

Personal accountability.

It's a big issue with me.

I have known people throughout my life, children and adults, who don't seem to grasp this concept.

Any negative thing that happens in their life is the fault of someone else.

"I hit a parked car?
That person shouldn't have parked there. They were parked crooked. My eye doctor didn't give me the right eyeglasses!"

"Bounced a check? Bank error. Couldn't possibly have been anything else!"

Spill hot coffee on yourself? Sue McDonald's!

Overweight? It's not your fault, blame the Twinkies!

Struggling in school? It's not your fault, obviously the teacher doesn't like you!

When I was young, if I did something wrong, my parents tended to look at my friends and put some of the blame on them. I'm not doing my homework because of the friends I'm hanging out with. My grades are slipping because of them.

This makes no sense to me. Never in my life have my friends forced me to skip class, drink, smoke....none of that. I did do some of those things....on my own free will.

I don't believe in blaming others for our own mistakes. When my kids misbehave, I don't blame their friends. While I agree that our kids' friends influence them, I believe that blaming them for your kids' misbehavior is giving your kids a scapegoat and allowing them to avoid personal responsibility.

I think it's important to empower our kids and let them know that they don't have to be a follower. They make their own choices and don't have to follow their friends' lead. And if they choose to do so, they will take responsibility for those actions. The blame will not be placed on their friends. Their friends will not face the consequences of their actions. If my kids do well and get good grades, do their friends get credit for that? I don't think so. But it's the same concept.

We want to pat ourselves on the back for our kids' successes, and find someone to blame for their failures. But we're not doing our kids any favors that way.

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught." ~J.C. Watts

"Some favorite expressions of small children: “It’s not my fault. . . They made me do it. . . I forgot.” Some favorite expressions of adults: “It’s not my job. . . No one told me. . . It couldn't be helped.” True freedom begins and ends with personal accountability." - Dan Zadra

Random Weekend Musings

2011-08-20T20:01:00.006-04:00

I put a poll up on my sidebar. I'm curious about your kids' bedtimes, particularly your preteens/tweens/whatever you want to call them. Bear in mind when voting that the kids in question have to get up at 6 a.m. and most experts recommend 9-11 hours of sleep for that age group.

This may or may not have been prompted by a meddling mother-in-law.

#bitch

My son is moving home today. He has lived with his dad for several years now, but we live in the same town and he spent about 2/3 time there and 1/3 here (except for summer, when we do a 50/50 split).

But today, his father kicked him out.

I think in the long run, it will all work out for the best.

"And that's all I have to say about that."

This evening John and I decided to walk down the lane to see if there was any wildlife wandering around. We were greeted with the sight of several wild turkeys and five deer; two adults, one 'adolescent' (no idea if there's a proper term for that), and two babies (fawns). They froze when they saw us, and we stood there and watched them for a long time. After a while, they suddenly spooked, and the three largest deer ran in one direction but the babies ran towards us! But then they ducked into a trail in the woods.

We had a blast at karaoke last night. A blast. We even sang "Ice Ice Baby". Hilarious!

John picked some pears off of our pear tree, and they are currently in the oven, covered in butter, cinnamon, and brown sugar. I can't wait till they're done! Yumm-O!

I hope you're having a fantastic weekend!

End-of-Summer Fragments

2011-08-18T04:01:00.010-04:00

Friday is here - time for fraggin'!!

~ Today the little kids meet their new teachers. (Shelbie is in high school; she got her schedule in the mail.) Elayna is SO excited! Andrew is at his Grandma's, and not a big fan of school, so I doubt he is quite as thrilled. LOL

~ School starts Monday. I can't quite believe it. I'm not ready for the early mornings and early bedtimes; we have kept a very different, night-owl schedule all summer and I'm much more suited for that.

~ I have a pretty fun weekend ahead. Tonight I'm going out for karaoke with my BFF Danielle, and on Saturday they are having a huge birthday party for her grandmother, and John and I will be attending. And bringing my world-famous potato salad.

~ They are already selling candy corn and those yummy pumpkins at Walgreens. I love them, and I love fall, but wow....already??

~ I have decided to start a new meme/carnival/whateveryouwanttocallitthingy.

I'm going to call it "DysFUNctional MOMents", and I'm going to share the Dysfunctional Mom Moments that I've had during the past week, and invite y'all to join in! What do you think? I'm going to give it a test run on Tuesday, so if you already have a Dysfunctional MOMent to share (and you know you do!), get it ready! You can post it on your blog and link up, and I'll also have guest bloggers here sharing their DysFUNctional MOMents.

Like that time your daughter was crying that her thumb hurt but you thought she was just being a drama queen and then you took her to the ER the next day and it was actually broken.

Oh wait, that was me.

Okay, like that time you took your son's lizard outside so it could get some sun but you forgot about it all day and it sort of.....baked. To death.

Oh wait, that was me, too.

Okay, enough of my your DysFUNctional MOMents, let's save the rest for Tuesday!

I'm sure you have all heard about the tragedy that happened at the Sugarland Concert at the Indiana State Fair last week. I'm a huge Sugarland fan and wanted to share one of their songs today. It's hard to choose just one; I love almost every song they've ever recorded, but this is one of my favorites. My prayers are with all of those affected by the tragedy.

Remind Me......

2011-08-17T22:49:00.007-04:00

This is a fictional story inspired by Mama Kat's Prompt:
1.) Write a short story prompted by your favorite song. (inspired by Melissa from Rock And Drool).

{scroll down & click play to listen to the song while you read.}

The phone is wedged between her shoulder and her ear, as she pulls laundry out of the dryer.

"I just want more, Michelle. More passion, more kisses, more affection, more attention."

"Don't we all?" replies Michelle, her best friend of many years. "Listen Stacy, after a few years of marriage, it just fades away."
"Well, it shouldn't. I feel like all I do is cook and clean and taxi kids. I'm the kids' mom and Scott's wife, but when do I get to be a woman?"

"Why don't you come out with me and the girls this weekend? We'll have a few drinks and just have a good time. You need a break!"

Stacy sighed. "I don't know....maybe."

When the weekend rolled around, Stacy made a decision. She was going to do it. She was going to go out with the girls, and have fun, and see what happened. She was tired of living this boring soccer mom life.

She squeezed into her cutest jeans and put on her lowest-cut top. She met her friends at a bar, and the more Stacy drank, the better she felt. She sang, danced and laughed with Michelle and the girls. She felt sexy. And she got attention....a lot of it. And she liked it.

And then, she saw a man walk in who immediately caught her eye. He made his way over to her, and he started talking to her. He bought her drinks. He told her she was beautiful. They laughed together. As the night progressed, she realized she felt better than she had felt in a long, long time.

They left the bar and sat in her car, and talked......and kissed. And she said to him, "This is exactly what I needed. I needed to feel wanted, and attractive. And Scott....we have got to do this more often."

{inspired by one of my favorite songs......}

They Want to Know.....

2011-08-17T03:06:00.005-04:00

I decided to join in with Mamarazzi & Queso this Wednesday and answer some fun questions! Check it out.

{1} Did you live in the same town or move around a lot as a child?

I not only lived in the same town but the same house until I turned 18, and my parents still live there.

{2} What were your parents like?

That's a loaded question. Strict....very black & white, no shades of gray. "My way or the highway" types.

{3} Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?

I have a brother who is 1o years older than me and a sister who is 7 years older. They were practically angels, and did not break the parents in for me AT ALL! I still tease them about that to this day.

{4} Share a short story from your childhood.

When I was little, I had imaginary friends. One main friend, and she had a sister and a brother, but the brother died (I guess I was kind of morbid). My family loves to tell the story of a time when my sister had friends over, and they decided to walk down to the lake. Our mom forced my sister to let me tag along, and to hold my hand. To make it even worse, I insisted that my sister leave a space between herself and me....for my imaginary friend.

Bonus-my brother loved to torture me and he would step on my imaginary friends' imaginary house. I think I need therapy.....

{5} What did you look like? (share a childhood pic for a chance to win a prize)

Um, CUTE, of course!

This was taken in my backyard. I'm on the left, and that's my mom's best friend's daughter on the right.

Don't forget to visit Mamarazzi & Queso for more We Want to Know posts!

S-s-s-Summer

2011-08-15T00:24:00.004-04:00

Summer 2011 was very eventful for our family.

We celebrated a high school graduation and a wedding

(and a honeymoon baby announcement!).

We visited rivers and springs.

We watched outdoor concerts and fireworks.

We got pink highlights, and spent lots of quality time with friends.

I am absolutely NOT ready for it to be over!

Where's the pause button?!

~Linking up with Shell @ Things I Can't Say and Unknown Mami.~

Friday Fragments - Friend Edition

2011-08-11T20:27:00.009-04:00

Well, it's {almost} Friday and you know what time it is....Half Past Kissin' Time!

And that means time for Friday Fragments.

I'm home. I had a wonderful week and I am incredibly relaxed. The animals are so happy to see me, one cat in particular has not left my side. Right now she's sitting on the top of the sofa behind my head, purring constantly.

The hubby was pretty happy to see me, too. I think he may have been purring a little himself.

One thing I admire about my friend Danielle, who I've been with this past week, is her ability to forgive and love people despite their shortcomings. Even when people in her family have treated her very badly, she is able to overlook that and still have a very strong, deep love for those people. She was raised by several different relatives, passed around basically, and some of them treated her very poorly. But she is able to put all of that in the past and love them for their good qualities. I just love that about her. She is the rock of her entire family, always taking care of everyone.

One thing Danielle does NOT do, however, is cook. In fact, I used her new oven before she did. She bought the food, I cooked, her teenage daughter did dishes. It was quite a wonderful set-up, I think we should all move in together!

I also love Danielle's family, as they are like a second family to me. They have taken me in and treat me as one of their own. Her sister and I are also becoming very close. They are a huge, warm, loving, CRAZY family, and I feel lucky to be a part of the group.

So. Tell me about your closest friend. Tell me what you love about him or her, what you admire, what you appreciate. I don't know where I'd be without my friends!

Visit Half Past Kissin Time for more Friday Fraggin' Fun,

and have a Fantastic Weekend!

Pssst....The Wise Owl has spoken!

While I'm Away....

2011-08-11T02:30:00.001-04:00

....I thought I'd give you something to read in my absence.

A blog that makes me laugh: You Are Not a Photographer

A blog that makes me cry: Cora's Story

A blog that makes me think: Corbyn Hightower

A blog that makes me ~~drool~~ hungry: Home Cooking With Sonya

A blog that makes me wish she was my neighbor: Not a Perfect Mom's Blog

"No worries....I'll be back soon!"

Sorta Southern Single DysFUNctional Mom??

2011-08-09T23:58:00.002-04:00

No, my friends, I have not become suddenly Single, nor have I become "sorta" Southern; I am Southern alllll the way. Southern as sweet tea. Southern as grits.

But when I asked for guest posters and my friend, Sorta Southern Single Mom, offered to help out, I was SO excited! Because I heart her. And she rocks. And you know what else she does?
She.puts.the.fun.in.DysFUNctional.TOO!!!

So check out her post, and then go check out her blog, because she is all kinds of awesome!

Hey Y'all! I am Sorta Southern Single Mom and I usually make my home over at Single Mom in the South , but today, I'm here to steal some of Cyndy's thunder. I've decided I might just be able to challenge her in the competition of most DysFUNctional family. *grins*

I'm just back from a trip to The Great White North were I spent a week crammed into my parents tiny little bungalow with my parents, my two children, my sister and her then fiance as we prepared for their wedding weekend! Growing up, we never had more than 4 people living in the house, so with a big wedding coming up, we thought would be good to try 7...for a whole week. Now, mind you, Daddy did pull the RV up into the side yard and Evie and Jack did sleep out there... you know, sort of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation Style, so that alleviated some of the crowding, but while they did have electric, there was no sewer or water, so we were still working with 1.5 baths.

Can you say DysFUNctional?

Over at my blog, I told the story about my mom and her relationship with her Bathing Suit. It is her clothing item of choice and I now have even more proof!

We arrived late in the evening and after being in the car for 11 hours, let the kids take a bike ride. All seven of us went together with the big people walking behind the kids on their bikes. About a half mile from my parents house, I look over at my mother and realize that she had, in fact, joined us on our walk/ride in her bathing suit. Now, she was wearing a coverup, but it was obviously doing just that: covering up her bathing suit.

At least we were in her neck of the woods and not mine this time!

Fast forward to the next morning. The Girl and my mom were chatting while getting ready for the day. My mom mentions to The Girl that she has to go water the flowers around the corner at the church. Of course, The Girl, for whom I am just the vehicle that provided her with my mother, wants to go, but she is in her pajamas. My mom says (and I quote EXACTLY):

"You have to get dressed first. I usually just wear my bathing suit and put something over it."

The Girl turns to me and says, "Mamma! Where's my bathing suit?"

*Eyes bug out* Now we are trying to turn my child too! Oh NO NO NO!!!

I did get her a suit and a REAL dress to put over it and my mother did put an actual dress over hers, because, you know, you should dress up to go to church and all...

LAWD 'A MERCY!

You just can't make this stuff up!

Cyndy and her crew aren't the only ones that put the FUN in DysFUNctional!

Visit Sorta Southern Single Mom for more Dysfunctional Fun!

Tuesday's Gone with the Wind.....

2011-08-08T21:36:00.007-04:00

In the interest of being lazy, since I've ran away from home, I've decided to join in with Life Music Laughter for the Tuesday's Gone blog hop, and repost an old post. I went back to right around a year ago this time, and found this Self Reflections post. I chose this specific post so that, if you weren't around a year ago, you could learn some new things about yours truly, Dysfunctional Mom.

Hope you're having a great week!

Christy from Just Thinkin' and Lisa from The Sarcastic Lab Rat have started a new meme. This one is called Self Reflections Tuesday. It's all about us, as bloggers, not our kids and husbands and pets and other random stuff. Go on over to one of the host blogs to read all about it!

Today's Theme: Introduce yourself! Show us a self-portrait and list 5 things you like about yourself. And we are looking for things you really like ... not just 'I like that I'm a mommy'.

Here I am....

and here I go.........

1. I like that I make people laugh. (usually on purpose!)

2. I like that I am a very loyal friend. Once we are true, bonded friends, we always will be.

3. I like that I am a very kind person, but not a doormat. I am nice, but I don't take crap. Mess with me or my family, you will see my ugly side.

4. I like that I am a very caring person who volunteers her time to help others, human and animal.

5. I like that, with the wisdom of old age, I have accepted my flaws, worked on the ones I can or want to change, and learned to live with the ones I can't...or just don't want to change! =)

There you have it!
Go check out the other Self Reflections and then join in the fun!

Adventures in Alyssaland

2011-08-08T02:35:00.001-04:00

Hello, my lovelies! As you may remember if you read my post last week, I ran away from home!

But never fear; I wouldn't leave you without any dysfunctional entertainment.

Today's blogger is Alyssa from Adventures in Alyssaland, who says:

"In many ways I am crazy, my life is crazy. Welcome to Alyssaland. Such a nice place to visit you just might wanna stay."

Y'all may have already guessed, but Dysfunctional Mom does not sideline as a Tiger Mom. I'm not even on the same planet as a Tiger Mom. And organization? Only in the sense of 'organized chaos'. It's not unusual in our house to hear "I know exactly where that is, it's on the floorboard of the car. Crumpled up, passenger side, under the Diet Dr Pepper can."

So, check out this blogger's take on the situation:

I taught 5th and 6th graders a four-day course called “Taking the Stage.” I wrote a blog about it on Adventures in Alyssaland highlighting my exchanges with the tweens in a series of six line scenes. I thought about doing a recap of the revelations I had during and about the occasion; yet that might be overkill. Really, the experience wasn’t remarkable enough to merit two entries. However, now I am writing for a fresh readership on a Mommy Blog.

Big Grin.

On Tiger Mothers…

I am not a mom of any sort; nevertheless if I was I am too lazy to be a Tiger Mother. Moreover, why bother? Growing up I participated in kid things in the summer—swimming, tennis, summer reading program and camps. I graduated from college with honors, got jobs, relocated from the Midwest to California and now I live in my parents’ basement. Imagine how much more upset they would be if all they had believed I was special.

On Showcases…

They performed a skit for the parents at the end of the week. Cultivating creativity I let them craft their own scene. I wanted to apologize to the parents who taking time off from work straining to hear a series of playettes that made as much sense as listening to Jill Zarin snipe at Ramona Singer #teamblonde.

I applaud all adults who rearrange their day for showcases, recitals and the like. Don’t you ever want to pull a Vickie Gunvalson and scream; “I work!” over Coco Puffs?

Attention Deficit Disorder…

Not theirs, mine. I commented about hoping I remembered to bring in my computer wherein they offered to provide a note as I had for them. When I declined their kind proposal they provided equally helpful suggestions.

“You could write a big note on your hand. But it has to be in ink or marker.” Ah, the kids equivalent of a sticky note or text message to yourself.

“Put it right by the door so you see it before you leave the house.” Sadly, I tried that and still forgot it.

Busted.

Or at least bested.

I commend all the motivated Moms and Dads who attend Suzie and Johnny’s events during working hours while trying to make it look like your organizational skills are better than a 5th Grader.

I have a reunion show to watch.

If I'm not back in a week....just wait longer!

2011-08-04T00:29:00.007-04:00

Lots of bits of stuff & fluff floating around in the old head today,

so I'm just going to spill them!

~ My son got the job he interviewed for last week! He will be a pharmacy tech at a local pharmacy. PROUD mama right here!!

~ I started a review blog and will be moving many of my giveaways & reviews over there. I would LOVE for you to "follow" me on the new blog! DysFUNctional Mom Reviews

~ My newest client, the sassy Ms J, passed away very early on Tuesday morning. I wish I'd had more time to get to know her, and I will miss her spunky personality (last Friday, she tried to shut me in the bathroom so she could escape!). This woman was a drummer (her nickname was "Sticks"), a weaver, she did needlepoint, beadwork, and who knows what else; I learned all that in a little over a week.

~ We finally have water again! What a relief. I was afraid it was going to be a huge, major project.

~ I'm going away next week! I'll have my laptop but I doubt I'll be around much. I will have some guest posters though, so check in!

~ I wanted this song to be my theme for my getaway next week, but hubby really thinks I should wear a shirt. *shrug* He's such a rule follower!

Have a great weekend!!

Don't 4get to visit Mrs 4444 for more Friday Fragments.

Sanity - Just a Phone Call Away

2011-08-03T21:50:00.007-04:00

Linking Up with the Lovely MamaKat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop....

2.) Who is the last person you spoke with on the phone for more than 30 minutes? Write about one thing you talked about.

I have known my best friend, Danielle, for over 23 years. So, since we were ~~teenagers~~ babies.

When our kids were little and we were stay at home moms, we talked on the phone every day, often for hours. But as we both went back to work and things changed, sometimes our lives get busy and we go weeks without talking (although since Facebook took over the world, we do talk pretty frequently now).

But when I am at the end of my rope, losing my mind, needing to grasp onto something to save me...I call Danielle. Anytime something big happens in my life, good or bad, she is the one I HAVE to share it with. She is more than a friend, she is my soul sister.

So this Sunday evening, when I felt like I was nearing my breaking point, I called Danielle.

"Danielle, I'm losing my flippin' mind over here. I am so stressed. John has to go to court about Andrew's bio-mom's visitations next week. My parents unexpectedly came over today. My client's daughter just called and her condition is badly deteriorating; she isn't expected to live much longer. I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and smothered here at home. We only have one car and I feel like I do nothing but taxi people around all day. I need a break!"

Not only did she talk me down off of the ledge, but she went a big step further. Her aunt has a condo on the beach, and she is kidnapping me next week and taking me to the condo. My kids will be at their dad's house, and I am running away. Danielle is going through a lot right now too, and needs a break as much as I do.

Danielle is awesome. She never judges, she is always supportive, and always honest. And she always has my back. And I know she's always there when I need her....just a phone call away.

So on Friday, we'll go have our Karaoke night, and then, we're off. If you need me, I'll be sitting on the beach, with a drink in ~~each~~ my hand.

P.S. If you'd like to guest blog next week, let me know!

SO.Not.Amused.

2011-08-02T23:43:00.004-04:00

It's been one of those days.

Nails popping off (which I JUST got done on Friday....ugh!).

Glasses falling out of the shelf and shattering everywhere.

Just typical annoying stuff.

And then, tonight at 11, (because I had to watch Teen Mom first), I got in the shower. I noticed the water pressure was a little low, but I figured someone had just flushed a toilet somewhere and hopped on in. Wet my hair, and got it all sudsy with shampoo.

And then?
The water shut off. It just slowly trickled to a stop.

So here I sit, with a head full of soapy hair.

#FML

Is it Friday yet??

Linking up for Wordful Wednesday:

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional

Cutting Edge!

Did You Know?

Whole Lotta Happy Going On...

FragmenTatered

Things I Have Learned 2012

heellppp.

Incomprehensible.

I Remember

Dont you worry your pretty little mind

Looking Good - AND Winning Money!!

-2011-

Ramblings

Festive Fragging

Santa Baby

Nobody But Me

Let me tell you about my kids.

This...right here...is my....Frags.

Quintessential Me- Wordful Wednesday

Who are these people and what have they done with my parents?

When I Wasn't Here....

The Wisdom of a Child

Aging Pisses Me Off.

I'm Alright

Moving On.

fore·shad·ow

T.G.I.Fragments

Somebody call 911!

WWTK - Trick or Treat Edition!

Halloweekend in my City

Frightful Fragments

Oh, MY, What HAVE I Done??

Happy GIRL!!!

Never Have I Ever....

When You are No Longer Fat

Happy Hour*

Dum Dum, Give me Gum Gum!

Fragmentationally Challenged

Happy Stuff

It's a.....

Time After Time

Happy List Time!!

Pardon....

WWTKW ~ Nom nom nom!

DysFUNctional Moments 9.27.11

Where I'm From

Birthdays in my City

Reasons & Seasons

DysFUNctional MOMents

Sunday in my City

I Don't Know If I Can Yell Any Louder

Blog Blessings

DysFUNctional MOMents - Emo Cheerleaders?

Friday Fragments: Hanging on for dear life.

DysFUNctional MOMents

The Golden Years

And We Shall Call Her Grace.

DysFUNctional MOMents II - One Child Left Behind

Like Peas & Carrots

Raising Awareness, One Blog Post at a Time

Fraggin' from the End of my Rope

Where Am I?

WWTK - This is deep stuff!

DysFUNctional MOMents Tuesday!

Cyndy: Is it too late to decide I dont want any children?

Heather: Piiizzzzza for dinnah... big surprise?! Ehh, not so much!

Personal Accountability- A Rant.

Random Weekend Musings

End-of-Summer Fragments

Remind Me......

They Want to Know.....

S-s-s-Summer

Friday Fragments - Friend Edition

While I'm Away....

Sorta Southern Single DysFUNctional Mom??

Tuesday's Gone with the Wind.....

Adventures in Alyssaland

If I'm not back in a week....just wait longer!

Sanity - Just a Phone Call Away

SO.Not.Amused.